Friday, March 23, 2012

The Journey I Have Endured

I recently revisited a post that I commented on a few years back. It was a thread that went on for over two weeks, and it was one of my first brushes with other mothers not of my thinking. Many had very different journeys than I had, and most were not liking what it was that I was saying. I am a firm believer in everyone having a voice, no matter what the muse is you should be heard in order for others to learn. This was one of the comments that I made there with some changes to omit names. I was feeling this today and wanted to share ...

Ladies ... the bottom line is this. We all in this sisterhood have one common and unique thread. Loss. We have all lost a child, we all have a huge hole where that little one should be. Even worse, it is not a loss that people understand nor wish to get involved with. IF someone were to loose a child to an accident or disease, people would not think twice about the grief, the pain, the sorrow of an incredible blow to one's heart ... their soul. But people do not see us as women who lost their children. They think differently because whether through force or choice, they cannot see that we too have lost children. 

Doubly worse, we have lost children that are still very much alive, living without us, not knowing how much we think about them, want to know about them, just wonder if they are at all like us. We all face battles everyday in our journey through motherhood and if we are here talking about it, then that tells me we are all brave women.

To get up everyday and face life knowing that it could all suddenly change is a fact of life for us. We never know what will set us off, we never know if pictures and updates will fill us with joy or take us back to the days when it was so new, so very hard. It takes a lot of guts and self confidence to just get through the days, we all know that. It saddens me to hear any mother say that she is not brave, especially birth mothers. We are all brave.  Brave enough to stand up for what we believe in no matter if the outlook is negative or positive, we are all here fighting together to change a system that has too many flaws to count and too little support for the one person who makes the adoption happen in the first place.

I call myself Braveheart for the journey I have endured, the ridicule that I have to right, the long explanations of who I am and why I chose the things I chose, and the longing to kiss my children every night and tell them I love them, just as a mother should. I am proud that I moved through it, and am still learning everyday what a wonderful journey (life) it can be. I think you all can find something in your heart that tells you how very brave you are. And I bet you would not have to look hard to see it.

Adding to the above, today I said this to someone else...
No matter where one may be in the journey, listening to others is something that is so important especially with adoption as a topic.