tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29547227627081025322024-03-13T23:05:33.047-07:00A Birth Mother VoiceAdoption Author, expert in adoption issues, public speaker, blogger and mother to children both near and afar.Kelsey Stewart, Authorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11772746376820263241noreply@blogger.comBlogger325125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2954722762708102532.post-70831948899655688222016-02-01T12:30:00.001-08:002016-02-01T12:30:39.272-08:00Let's begin again, shall we?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<em><span style="color: #ea9999; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Well hello to you!</span> </em></h2>
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Remember me, a blast from the past? Yes, it has been a while since I have graced this blog to spill thoughts out about this thing we call adoption. A long while. </h2>
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2012 I entered public service as a school board trustee and since that time life has moved at warp speed. I feel as if I have gone back to school in a sense as each and every day I am reading, researching, speaking with the community, chatting it up with students about the intricacies of how school districts are run. It has been quite the education and to be honest, I am loving what I am doing.<br />
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With that said, understand that it has also been quite time consuming: governance workshops, conferences, symposiums, more research, trainings, working dinners, 100+ meetings in the first two years and 40+ last year (most school boards meet once a month with occasional special board meetings perhaps 4-6 times a year).<br />
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Oh, did I mention that we unified two school districts while serving on separate boards until the merge became official the summer after we were elected? Now that experience could become an interesting writing experience as it is not one of the easiest feats in the universe, nor is there a book on how-to-unify. But that is an entirely different blog, one I may write some years down the line. Perhaps.<br />
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With all of this learning under my belt, I have finally had an opportunity to come up for air and find that life I had before I was a public servant. The one where I was a <em><span style="color: #ea9999; font-size: large;">woman with years of experience</span></em> and positivity to share on this vast topic we call <span style="color: #ea9999; font-size: large;"><em>adoption</em></span>. In my absence, I have seen you looking, reading, liking, and supporting A Birth Mother Voice on various social media sites that exist in our daily lives<em><span style="color: #ea9999; font-size: large;">. I thank you for always reminding me that taking that leap in writing my book and then starting this blog was something that would only enlighten my life</span></em> and the journey I am continually on, and apparently I am not alone.<br />
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So hello to the faithful, welcome to the new ones and if you are just scrolling today and came upon this, check back in a couple of days as I have already been composing some ideas into posts that may interest you. Those who know me often wonder just what may come out of my mouth, and I think that is a good thing. :)</div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer">The Best For You available at AuthorHouse.com/Bookstore</div>Kelsey Stewart, Authorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11772746376820263241noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2954722762708102532.post-52200741352852587962013-11-06T10:31:00.002-08:002013-11-06T10:31:27.342-08:00My Junior Bridesmaid<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Originally posted in 2009. Just to recap, this is a series of posts that focus on some of the positive moments as my journey as a birth mother...</div>
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #fce5cd; font-size: large;"><strong><em>My Junior Bridesmaid</em></strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Bruce and I had been together for 7 years with 3 of those years living together in beautiful California. One September, he suggested that we take a romantic weekend trip to Catalina Island off the coast of Long Beach. I had NEVER been to an island and I thought...<em>How romantic of him!</em> Didn't surprise me, he was always so loving. So we took off from the mainland and arrived in the town of Avalon. The night came and Bruce had bought me a beautiful dress for dinner that night. It was relaxing, quiet, and one of the biggest nights of my life, but I did not know it yet. </span><span style="font-size: large;">After eating, we took a stroll on the beach. Discussing the fact that we were on a island, I was rambling on and on about the beauty of the water. Bruce stopped in front of me and said..."If I was on the water, I wouldn't be able to do this..." He then dropped to one knee and began a speech and I soon realized that he was proposing to me. Oh my! I do not remember a word he said because I was so shocked, so surprised, so swept off my feet that I could not hear him...my heart was pounding too hard. I said yes and as soon as we got home from the trip, we called close family and friends to tell them the great news.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I was a graphic designer so I made a postcard to send out announcing the engagement and to let people know we were planning on a Fall wedding the following year. I sent them out the week before Thanksgiving, and as always, I sent a postcard to my daughter's parents. We were in contact through correspondence so it was nothing out of the ordinary for me to send the announcement. Later that week, I got a call from my mother. She was having trouble talking, I could tell she was crying, and she just could not convey what she wanted to say through her tears. I got worried, I thought my dog had died, or worse, a family member. The longer she tried to tell me what was making her verklempt, the more I started freaking out. I was imagining the worst possible scenario. Finally, she took a deep breath and said..."Sophia just called me..." that was my daughter's mom," and she needs to talk to you." </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">My heart dropped. I thought the worst. I was crying right along with my mother because I was sure that she was hurt, sick, or worse. "What? Why? What's wrong?" I asked franticly. My heart was pounding with every image that crossed my mind showing me a scenario of what could be so horribly wrong. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Honey...", she sighed,"...oh, Bella got the postcard and she asked if she could be in the wedding." My heart literally did not beat for a moment, I was stunned with that statement. I could not breath, the tears started streaming down my face in a fast and constant flow of relief and happiness. Now my heart was beating almost out of my chest and Bruce could see that I was visibly upset so he too, became worried. "Bella saw the postcard and asked Sophia if she thought you would let her be in your wedding. In other words, she would like you to ask her to be there. Can you believe that?" I was crying so hard, you know that kind of cry where you are not making any noise, your chest is heavy trying to keep composure as not to start wailing.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> "I am stunned. She really wants to be there?" I asked.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> "Yes baby, she does. Remember all those years ago we talked about how great it would be to have her there at your wedding, and what a dream we thought it was? Well, that dream is coming true. You better call them." She gave me the number and I told her that I would call her back after I spoke to Bella. I had to wait a few minutes. I hadn't seen or physically talked to her for many years. This would be the first real conversation with my baby, my beautiful little girl. I was exploding with emotions, mostly disbelief that it was actually happening. I felt sick, I felt elated, I felt nervous, I felt joy...it was all so surreal. I just could not believe it!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I composed myself, sat down and dialed the number. It rang twice and was picked up by a familiar, sweet voice.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> "Hello?"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> "Sophia, it is Kelsey." </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Hello Kelsey. Congratulations on your engagement, we were all so excited to get the postcard. Bella has it on her dresser in her room. What a romantic place that looked like."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> "Oh yes, Bruce is amazing! It was kept secret, I had no clue that he was going to ask but what a wonderful feeling when he did. It was a great weekend. How are you doing?" </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">We exchanged greetings for a while and then she said, "So, your mom called you and told you what is going on?" </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"She did. How do you feel about this? Is this something that you want to do?" I asked.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> "Well, of course we have her best interests at heart, but she really wants to be there. I have never seen her so nervous and excited to ask a question before. We talked about it and we think it would be a good thing, especially if this is what she wants. How do you feel about it?" Like she needed to ask! </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"I am thrilled that she would ask this, and as long as you and the family are alright with this, I welcome you there and I would absolutely love for Bella to be there that day." More discussion about schedules and locations, then she said..."Well, she's right here chomping at the bit to get on the phone so I will talk to you soon to go over things. Thank you for calling and here is Bella..." </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">My heart was jumping out of my chest. I felt a lump in my throat. I held my breath. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Hello?" Her voice was like music in my ears. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Hello Bella, how are you today?" </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"I am good, how about you?" I wanted to just shout out <em><span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">'I AM SO HAPPY THAT YOU WANT TO BE IN MY WEDDING, I LOVE YOU!'</span></em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Great, it is a beautiful day here in California. How are you getting along in softball?" It was my favorite sport in school and she played as well. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Great. I have been really seeing the ball and hitting it a lot. You used to play ball, right?"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> "You bet I did, I was a great hitter because of my stout and beefy stature. I also loved the outfield, my favorite was left field." </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Cool." We chatted a while and then I said..."So, I heard that you would like to be in our wedding. Is that true?"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> "Yes. I would like to be there but only if you want me there." </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Giant tear rolling down my face, I try not to let my voice crack as I respond. "Are you kidding me? I would be so honored if you would be there. I would also like very much if you were my junior bridesmaid, so you can walk up the isle just before I do. How does that sound?"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Really?" </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Absolutely! Have you ever been in a wedding before?" </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"No..." I could hear the excitement in her voice. I could see her bright smile through the phone. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Well, let's make it happen. I would like for you to be my Junior Bridesmaid. Will you?" I asked.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Yes I will!!! Thank you! I am so happy and excited." </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Oh my darling, you have made my day! Thank you for wanting to be there with me, it means a lot to me." </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Well, it means a lot to me, too." Oh, this child has my heart all in a bundle. What fantastic parents she has to be so supportive of what she wants. How brave of them to allow her to attend this fantastic day in my life. We were both smiling that day, really smiling. I got off the phone and collapsed into Bruce's arms. He consoled me and sat with me for an hour. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I was crying in relief. <em><span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong>I was crying because years of not knowing what she really thought about me was all washed away in that one phone call.</strong></span></em> I was crying because that whimsical dream that I had all those years ago was coming true, and by her choosing. She came to me. She wanted to be there with me. Oh, I cried and cried and cried. It was so wonderful to hear those words, however light they were, to just hear her say that she wanted to be there...I was ecstatic, and dare I say it, happy. It was one of the best phone conversations of my life.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">On October 16, 1999 Bruce Stewart took my hand in marriage. My daughter walked up the isle just before I did, and she was next to me the entire ceremony.</span><br />
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">The Best For You available at AuthorHouse.com/Bookstore</div>Kelsey Stewart, Authorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11772746376820263241noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2954722762708102532.post-22539949152539463072013-11-05T13:09:00.000-08:002013-11-05T13:09:18.142-08:00Happy Thoughts .... The Nurse<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><em>Helllooooo! YES! I am alive and well, but have been running in 19 different directions these last few months. But I am here to let you all know I will have some great posts this month as we talk about National Adoption Month, which is November. In the mean time as I am gathering others voices I thought I would share the series I call Happy Thoughts. Just some positive stories of my experience with adoption....</em></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><em>The Nurse</em></span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><em>W</em>ell if I am going to advocate for the positives of adoption, I guess I should start telling positive stories! I am starting a series of blogs containing some of the wonderful things that have happened to me as a birth mother. Let's start with this....</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">After my daughter was born, I was in a private room in the hospital and feeling quite sad and lonely. I knew that I only had a few days with her and my heart was torn between my guilt and my joy. I always had a smile on my face, that is the kind of person I am, but that smile was hiding a broken spirit within. they were keeping the baby in the nursery because I had a dry birth and she was needing attention. (Dry birth ... my water broke 24 hours before she was born. When the water is absent for that long, it becomes dangerous for the baby because the amniotic fluid is not present to protect from bacteria and germs. It is also a very difficult delivery for the mother because without the fluid the uterus has to contract harder and longer to push the baby out.) The entire nursing staff was accomidating me because they were all so impressed with the decission I had made to place my baby for adoption. I think <em><strong>they were trying to make me as comfortable as I could be so that I could really enjoy the limited time that I had with her</strong></em>. I took a nap and when I woke up one of the nurses was bringing her in.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The nurse was very pretty and had an unforgetable smile. She set me up with all that I needed and she left us alone. After a few hours my daughter was asleep and I was exhausted so I called the nurse station to ask them to take her to the nursery. The same nurse came in and I was still holding my daughter. She came up and rubbed her little head and told me how absolutely beautiful she was. I thanked her and I put her into the crib, I covered her and tucked her in and stepped back. The nurse stood there for a minute and I told her it was alright to go. She started toward the door and then stopped. She turned to me and said "I know that I would get into trouble for saying this...but I think what you are doing is an amazingly selfless thing to do at such a young age. I have worked here a while and I cannot tell you how many girls I see come through here, younger than you, and they keep these babies for all the wrong reasons. I just want to grab them and shake them to wake them up and tell them that there are other alternatives. What you are doing for this family is so amazing. You will hear some horrible things from people who judge you for what you are doing, don't listen to them. I would like to ask that you promise me something." She was now very passionate and I could see the compassion in her eyes through her tears. "What is it?" I asked. <strong><em>"I want you to promise me that from now on, until the day you die, I want you to promise me that you will celebrate Mother's Day.</em></strong> Do something nice for yourself, be good to you every Mother's Day because that is a day that is custom made for women like you. You are an incredible mother and I want you to be proud of yourself." I told her that I would and she grabbed me and gave me a quick, tight, squeeze of a hug and then composed herself.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">This was a complete stranger telling me what a difference I had made. I was taken back by her honesty and her utter unconditional understanding of what I was going through. I wish I could find her and tell her that she made an impact on me at a time when I needed acceptance the most. I will never forget her or her words. It is 20 years later, and I am still telling people about this wonderful woman who lifted me up when I was needing it, and helped a heart heal a little more with the kindness of a stranger.</span><br />
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Best-You-Kelsey-Stewart/dp/1449008321?ie=UTF8&tag=theb0fe-20&link_code=bil&camp=213689&creative=392969" imageanchor="1" target="_blank"><img alt="The Best For You" src="http://ws.amazon.com/widgets/q?MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&ID=AsinImage&WS=1&Format=_SL160_&ASIN=1449008321&tag=theb0fe-20" /></a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=theb0fe-20&l=bil&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=1449008321" style="border: medium none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px !important;" width="1" /></span></span></div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer">The Best For You available at AuthorHouse.com/Bookstore</div>Kelsey Stewart, Authorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11772746376820263241noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2954722762708102532.post-32101651934024556522013-07-02T11:21:00.001-07:002013-07-02T11:21:27.998-07:00Introducing ... Adoption.net<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I know...I have been neglecting this blog something terrible. There is a good reason for that, and that reason is right here ~ Adoption.net.<br />
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That's right, there is a new resource out there in the adoption world for us to gather and read, chat, contemplate and come together to share all of our unique experiences. Personally, I don't think there could ever be enough of these resources and I am happy to tell you that I am contributing to this site in my unique voice.<br />
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THANK YOU MELANYA for seeking me out and inviting me to be a part of this website, and here's hoping it will be not only a resource for people out there but become a site that is valued by many!<br />
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Take a look at what this site has to offer ... including this post in which I talk about a familiar topic ... that makes me a little crazy sometimes ;)<br />
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<a href="http://www.adoption.net/birthmothers/blog/why-so-many-names-mothers-adoption?vnchttp://www.adoption.net/birthmothers/blog/why-so-many-names-mothers-adoption?vnc" target="_blank">Why so many names?</a></div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer">The Best For You available at AuthorHouse.com/Bookstore</div>Kelsey Stewart, Authorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11772746376820263241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2954722762708102532.post-77932967441987877032013-05-11T18:27:00.000-07:002013-05-11T18:27:12.421-07:00This Is Why I Have Always Celebrate Mother's Day<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: large;">It has become a tradition for me to share with my readers this story about Mother's Day. Over 20 years ago this nurse changed the way I thought about myself .... And it her kindness has lasted a lifetime.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">After my daughter was born, I was in a private room in the hospital and feeling quite sad and lonely. I knew that I only had a few days with her and my heart was torn between my guilt and my joy. I always had a smile on my face, that is the kind of person I am, but that smile was hiding a broken spirit within. they were keeping the baby in the nursery because I had a dry birth and she was needing attention. (Dry birth ... my water broke 24 hours before she was born. When the water is absent for that long, it becomes dangerous for the baby because the amniotic fluid is not present to protect from bacteria and germs. It is also a very difficult delivery for the mother because without the fluid the uterus has to contract harder and longer to push the baby out.) The entire nursing staff was accommodating me because they were all so impressed with the decission I had made to place my baby for adoption. I think <em><strong>they were trying to make me as comfortable as I could be so that I could really enjoy the limited time that I had with her</strong></em>. I took a nap and when I woke up one of the nurses was bringing her in.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The nurse was very pretty and had an unforgetable smile. She set me up with all that I needed and she left us alone. After a few hours my daughter was asleep and I was exhausted so I called the nurse station to ask them to take her to the nursery. The same nurse came in and I was still holding my daughter. She came up and rubbed her little head and told me how absolutely beautiful she was. I thanked her and I put her into the crib, I covered her and tucked her in and stepped back. The nurse stood there for a minute and I told her it was alright to go. She started toward the door and then stopped. She turned to me and said "I know that I would get into trouble for saying this...but I think what you are doing is an amazingly selfless thing to do at such a young age. I have worked here a while and I cannot tell you how many girls I see come through here, younger than you, and they keep these babies for all the wrong reasons. I just want to grab them and shake them to wake them up and tell them that there are other alternatives. What you are doing for this family is so amazing. You will hear some horrible things from people who judge you for what you are doing, don't listen to them. I would like to ask that you promise me something." She was now very passionate and I could see the compassion in her eyes through her tears. "What is it?" I asked. <strong><em>"I want you to promise me that from now on, until the day you die, I want you to promise me that you will celebrate Mother's Day.</em></strong> Do something nice for yourself, be good to you every Mother's Day because that is a day that is custom made for women like you. You are an incredible mother and I want you to be proud of yourself." I told her that I would and she grabbed me and gave me a quick, tight, squeeze of a hug and then composed herself.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">This was a complete stranger telling me what a difference I had made. I was taken back by her honesty and her utter unconditional understanding of what I was going through. I wish I could find her and tell her that she made an impact on me at a time when I needed acceptance the most. I will never forget her or her words. It is 20 years later, and I am still telling people about this wonderful woman who lifted me up when I was needing it, and helped a heart heal a little more with the kindness of a stranger.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Best-You-Kelsey-Stewart/dp/1449008321?ie=UTF8&tag=theb0fe-20&link_code=bil&camp=213689&creative=392969" imageanchor="1" target="_blank"><img alt="The Best For You" src="http://ws.amazon.com/widgets/q?MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&ID=AsinImage&WS=1&Format=_SL160_&ASIN=1449008321&tag=theb0fe-20" /></a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=theb0fe-20&l=bil&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=1449008321" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px !important; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important;" width="1" /></span></span></span></div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer">The Best For You available at AuthorHouse.com/Bookstore</div>Kelsey Stewart, Authorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11772746376820263241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2954722762708102532.post-20794076009936889882013-05-07T10:29:00.000-07:002013-05-07T10:29:14.593-07:00Support is Key for Mothers In Adoption<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: large;">I was quite fortunate in my adoptions, I will admit that. My story is different from any other I have read, and I am reminded often that I had great people around me to support in my choices. I am not talking about professionals helping me, but rather everyday people I knew and saw frequently who would either purposely or inadvertently give me that little something to keep pushing myself to heal. And in that support system I had a goliath advantage over everything and everyone else: my mother.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I grew up living alone with my mother from the age of three due to my parents divorce and my father’s moving out of state. She was a very strong woman whom had the heart of a lion coupled with the tenacity of a bull and charm so sweet you would never even know that she might be telling you off. She was raised by hard working Midwesterners who felt family values and morals were just as important to teach children as reading, writing and arithmetic. My mother had sass to spare, yet could make you feel that you were the only person on Earth in the way she listened to another’s woes. <strong><span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><em>Admired, loved and always prepared with an impeccable sense of humor my mother was a force of life that people were drawn to.</em></span></strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So telling her I was pregnant was not something I thought twice about. I have heard other birth mothers tell of how frightened they were to tell their mothers they were pregnant, but for me it was not that way. Of course I was nervous when I came to sit with her that evening, wondering just what would lie ahead after I told her the situation. Who wouldn’t be nervous? And I did take a deep breath when I worked up the courage to utter the words “Mom, I’m pregnant”, feeling like the entire moment was happening in super slow motion. But I was never scared of what she would say or how she would react. I was coming to her as a daughter who needed a mother’s ear to work through a difficult situation that would not only affect me … but affect my entire family.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><strong><em>“Well, what are we going to do?”</em></strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Those were the words she responded with: "Well, what are we going to do?" Not what are you going to do. Not what am I going to do. But rather what are we, meaning the two of us, going to do. In that one sentence I could feel the weight lift a little, and my heart found calm in her loving verbal embrace. A smile was all I could repay her with, as I still had to vocalize what my thoughts were on adoption and the options I wanted to look into as soon as I possibly could. From the moment she found out, she was nothing but accepting of the situation and my feelings. I cannot fathom what might have been going through her head, probably a million things and a million reasons why a break down would have been acceptable at that moment. Stoic and strong, she listened and talked with me long into the night to help me figure out what was the next step, what would the future be like (both adoption and raising the child) and how I was going to live life without my child if that is what I chose.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">She was a rock that I could anchor anytime I needed to be grounded. <em><strong><span style="background-color: #d5a6bd;">Neither of us could have known that we would go through adoption twice, and I am sure that neither of us could have known how much these events would enrich our relationship.</span></strong></em> I relied on her for strength, and she relied on me for inspiration which culminated into a bond much more than the normal mother/daughter relationship. There is no word in the English Dictionary that can begin to describe our relationship, nor would I ever want to find one that would try. In life there are moments that need no words, but rely heavily on actions to demonstrate how one person loves another. That was my mother. Her actions spoke more than words ever could.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><em>She was my first love, my first friend, my first teacher, my first confidant and the first Hero I ever admired. In her constant support and encouragement I persevered through the tough times and learned from her the grace I needed to live life as I am… no excuses to anyone and accepting of what life throws my way. The lessons I learned from her have lived on long after she left this Earth and that is a true testament to her rich, kind loving soul. She lives on in me, and I can only hope to be as amazing as she was in her life.</em></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Today she would have been 67 years old, and I bet she would have been a FIESTY Golden Girl! Happy Birthday Mom, and thank you for continuing to watch out for me and guide me through my days....may heaven have a GRAND party for you today. I love and miss you!</span></div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer">The Best For You available at AuthorHouse.com/Bookstore</div>Kelsey Stewart, Authorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11772746376820263241noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2954722762708102532.post-11844233496750550792013-05-06T12:55:00.002-07:002013-05-06T12:56:08.102-07:00Birth Mother's Day ... Differing Views<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Adoption Author, Lori Holden</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I love my contacts in adoption! Long ago, when I first started out online as a blogger I met a fantastic advocate whom I have come to admire. She is one of Parenting Magazines Top Ten Must Read Moms, and she deserves the honor. Her name is <a href="http://lavenderluz.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #93c47d;">Lori Holden</span></a> and she has a way with words.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">She emailed me to let me know that she was gracious enough to quote me in an guest post she did for <a href="http://www.disneybaby.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #93c47d;">Disney Baby</span></a>, and this is one of the reasons why I love her! She files all the adoption writers she knows in her head and can remember our words with accuracy ... and then is kind enough to share our thoughts with the world.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Thank you Lori for being a friend not just to me, but to all you know. I always appreciate when you spread more opinions in the hopes to help so many out there!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Please read on to introduce yourself to Lori if you do not already know her ....</span><br />
<a href="http://www.disneybaby.com/blog/celebrating-birth-mothers-day-an-interview-with-adoption-author-lori-holden/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #93c47d; font-size: large;">Celebrating Birth Mothers Day: An Interview with Adoption Author Lori Holden</span></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Open-Hearted-Way-Open-Adoption-Helping/dp/1442217383/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d5a6bd;"><strong>Lori Holden, Author of </strong></span></a><span id="btAsinTitle"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Open-Hearted-Way-Open-Adoption-Helping/dp/1442217383/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d5a6bd;"><strong>The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole</strong></span></a> </span> <br />
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">The Best For You available at AuthorHouse.com/Bookstore</div>Kelsey Stewart, Authorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11772746376820263241noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2954722762708102532.post-51834874531949015042013-04-27T08:14:00.001-07:002013-04-27T08:14:22.773-07:00A Rose to Remember<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: large;">Hello Weekend, and Happy Saturday!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">This is one of my older posts on Happy Thoughts, a series of writings that share the positive stories I have about my adoptions. It is about what that moment meant to me, the moment I gave birth to someone else's family ....</span><br />
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<a href="http://thebestforyoubook.blogspot.com/2010/01/happy-thoughts-3.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #93c47d; font-size: x-large;"><strong>Happy Thoughts 3 ~ A Rose is a Rose</strong></span></a></div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer">The Best For You available at AuthorHouse.com/Bookstore</div>Kelsey Stewart, Authorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11772746376820263241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2954722762708102532.post-70876598594059740652013-04-20T03:00:00.000-07:002013-04-20T03:00:03.015-07:00Adoption Advocation, Life Heritage and Ghost Stories ... OH MY!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I found this in the archives and it made me smile. Earlier this week, I asked on my Facebook page what people's thoughts were about birthdays in adoption. I had some great responses, insights and stories from all sides of the triad.<br />
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This, I think, is my favorite writting about a birthday (my daughter's 16th Birthday to be exact). I wrote this several years ago, and the irony, circumstances and eventual discovery are quite a journey. Take some time for a good ghost story, with a happy ending!<br />
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<span style="color: #93c47d; font-size: large;">Adoption Advocation, and Life Heritage and Ghost Stories ... OH MY!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I am going to incorporate positive avocation for adoption, passing on of one's heritage in adoption, and a ghost story all into one post. Inspired by Halloween perhaps, pull up a chair and let me tell you a little story. (Technically this should be a Happy Thought ... but I liked the title by itself so know that this is going to be incredibly positive!)</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Have you lost a loved one? Felt some kind of force in your life that makes you think that they could still be there, watching over you? Making sure that you follow through with important things in life? Or just to let you know that they have your back, will be your guardian angel for as long as you walk the Earth? I have one. She lets me know quite frequently that she is here, right beside me as she has always been ... for as long as I can remember.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">My biggest supporter in my decision to choose adoption for my children was my mother. She told me time and time again how proud she was of me to put my children before myself. She always told me that I was a much stronger person than she could ever be. She smiled when she spoke of her grandchildren, and that smile grew wider when she explained to people that I was her hero. (Still makes me blush just to write it. If anything, she was my hero my entire life!) She always talked about how one day, she just knew that we would all be together somewhere laughing and enjoying each other. Mom talked of traditions that she wanted to pass along to them in the hopes that she could include them in her life, her family history ... their family history. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">One such item was my Sweet 16 Corsage. It was the corsage that my mom received on her 16th birthday and my grandmother had it preserved so that she could give it to me when I turned 16. It was a very sentimental thing, and my mother had mentioned on several occasions that she could not wait to give that corsage to Bella when she was old enough. No matter how things were going in our life in adoption, she always reassured me that it would happen ... I would know them and be a part of their life. She did not know her life would end far sooner than she had wanted, or predicted.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">While in the hospital and clearly near the end of her life, we spent a quite morning talking about things. Mom was resting between subjects when suddenly she opened her eyes and said ... <em><span style="color: #b6d7a8;"><strong>"You have to promise me that you will give Bella the corsage. That corsage was pinned on me by my mother, and I pinned it on you, and it should be pinned on her when she turns 16. You have to make sure that your corsage goes to her ... it should be hers. I want her to have it, do you know how important that is to me?"</strong></span></em> I knew. "Yes, I will make sure she gets it." <span style="color: #b6d7a8;"><em><strong>"I am serious Kelsey, you have to promise me!"</strong></em></span> She had some fight in her, she was making her point. It was almost a last testament for her, because after that she never mentioned another family member for the rest of the time I was with her.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Years later, when the time came around for Bella's 15th birthday I started to think about that corsage. I still had many boxes from my mother's in my garage so I spent the better part of six months sorting through old memories, photo albums and mementos of my mothers life. I found some wonderful things I had forgotten about, but no corsage. I thought back. I had seen it the year before, I found it in a box and brought it into the house because I knew I would be looking for it soon. But where did I put it? Started cleaning and putting things away in the house. Another 2 and a half months went by and although my house was clean and very organized, I still could not find the corsage. Her 16th was getting close and I was starting to panic about that wish, those last words murmured from my mothers lips: <strong><em><span style="color: #b6d7a8;">"I am serious Kelsey, you have to promise me!"</span></em></strong> I wrote a desperate message to Bella's mom asking her if I had sent the corsage to her in advance. She responded no and asked what it was. After explaining the story to her, the significance to my mother, the significance to me ... well she was devastated that I could not find it. 6 weeks to go before the birthday and I was loosing my mind.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I was sleeping one night a month or so later and I had a dream. I was decorating for Halloween in the front yard and thinking about the corsage. As I spread the spider webs, I heard a familiar voice say ... "You want some help doing that?" It was my mother, walking across the front yard. She smiled. It was good to see her. "That would be great", I responded. We finished up the decorating and admired the work we had done. She told me she had to go, she had things to do but thanked me for letting her help with the Halloween festivities. It was always one of her favorite holidays is what she said, but I knew that. Then just before she left she said, <span style="color: #b6d7a8;"><em><strong>"What you are looking for ... you might want to check the kitchen again."</strong></em></span> And she smiled, then walked down the street. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">When I woke up, I had no recollection of the dream. I had overslept and was in a panic to get lunch made, dress the boys and get them off to school on time. It was a hectic morning to say the least, and I really did not think about my dream. Long about noon, I had a moment to sit quietly and it was then that I remembered seeing her again, spending time with her again, hearing her voice again. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Her voice. I remembered what she said about finding what I was looking for in the kitchen. I wasted no time, I looked everywhere for that blue box. I looked in every single cabinet. I looked in every nook and cranny of that kitchen and never once saw a blue box. Nice, I am completely crazy is what I was thinking to myself. I was also crushed that I was not going to find the corsage to give to my daughter on her 16th birthday. My heart sank and I leaned on the counter next to the fridge, sulking in my failure to keep my promise to my own mother. I lifted my head in disgust and was just about to tell myself off when I noticed something in the corner, tucked away. It was a candy holder that I bought at Hallmark (my mother's Mecca!) years back that looked like a witch's spell book, you know like an old thick book on a book shelf...really creepy and deep ... and it held Halloween candy and talked to you when you opened it. I picked it up, laid it down on the counter and took a deep breath.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I opened the cover to hear "Happy Halloween!" in a creepy witch voice followed with cackling and there, laying inside alone, was the blue box that I had so desperately been searching for. I was shaking. I reached in and picked it up, knowing what it was that I had found. I opened it and with one look inside a flood of memories came over me...tears began to flow and I cried uncontrollably. I was a little freaked out. I mean, I certainly do not remember putting that corsage in that box. I really don't think I did. It was not Halloween time when I was looking for it, yet there it was in the kitchen just like she said it would be. I felt like I was in a huge CLUE game </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong><span style="color: #d5a6bd;">... in the kitchen, with the corsage in the Witches book.</span></strong> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I was really freaked out when I realized that I had exactly two days to send it to Bella! I Fed Exed it off with a card and letter explaining the meaning behind the vintage Sweet 16 Corsage. It made it there, and her mom pinned it on her on her 16th birthday. She thought it was pretty cool that she now had something that was presented three generations ago in her family. I knew she would like it, and deep down I knew that my mother helped me find that thing~!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The moral of the story? <em><strong><span style="color: #d5a6bd;">Open adoption allows a birth family to pass on traditions to their flesh and blood.</span></strong></em> To me, that is pretty awesome and inspiring. Sure adoption can have its faults, sure it can be something that many do not understand. But for those that are involved with it, a story like this can inspire some to be more open to their birth families. Just as in my case, it only enhances the child's life to know where, and who they come from. </span><span style="color: #b6d7a8; font-size: small;"><strong><em>Another moral...always pay attention to those little signs that others are around to help you out in life...no matter HOW freaky they are!</em></strong></span><br />
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<em><span style="color: #d5a6bd;">Photo courtesy of etsy.com.</span></em></div>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">The Best For You available at AuthorHouse.com/Bookstore</div>Kelsey Stewart, Authorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11772746376820263241noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2954722762708102532.post-9835831974585999592013-04-18T23:36:00.000-07:002013-04-18T23:36:29.023-07:00Until I Am Strong Enough To Carry On<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: large;">When I was in my late twenties I sustained a work injury that really messed my back up to point that I limped for several years, endured physical therapy, was sent to learn a new trade because I would no longer be able to perform my old job .... Blah, blah, blah, </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Long story short, eventually my back healed but from time to time I would move the wrong way or hike too long and just like that, it was back. That same nagging pain. I could mask it with medicine, but nothing helped more than stretching, walking and working out the pain until I was strong enough to carry on.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I feel the same way about adoption. Having been through it for the last 20+ years as a mother, I will admit that, no ... It has not been easy. I sustained an injury to my heart. That is a wound that of course is deep, but to add to it the fact that it was self inflicted made it much harder for me to wrap my head around. I had a really rough go in the beginning, totally devastated and could feel my heart hardening. Then time and love from friends and family helped heal, helped remind me that I am who I am. (If that makes sense). </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">And one day, I would hear something ... See something ... Smell something that would cut again, just as if I twisted my spine the wrong way, and I would have to go back to square one. However, after some years I learned that each time there was something new to be learned. Perhaps I cry at my son's ceremonies because I am reminded of all I missed with my adopted children? Perhaps my funk during spring is because orange blossoms remind me of the walks I would take while pregnant?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">When that happens, when I make the connection, I try to revisit the scene if possible ... face it, take a deep breath and turn that memory back into a smile. Make it do what it used to do, before the loss. I do not do this because I want to forget the loss, that will never happen. Rather I am trying to replace the loss with the beautiful moments I experienced. The moments I want to keep with me, sacred, only important to me for my own reasons. And as with the back injury, I stretch my mind ... walk the memories and work through the pain until I am strong enough to carry on.</span></div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer">The Best For You available at AuthorHouse.com/Bookstore</div>Kelsey Stewart, Authorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11772746376820263241noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2954722762708102532.post-35230505428833991912013-03-22T10:01:00.004-07:002013-03-22T10:03:03.054-07:00Featured Writer: Adoption Voices Magazine<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: large;">I had the honor of being the featured writer this week at Adoption Voices Magazine. Never heard of it? Never been there to visit? What a treat you are missing! Great voices from all sides of the triad to view, read, learn from and inspire!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">This particular post is about the negativity that I see in the apoption circles online. I will leve you with the link to the page, not just the post, because there are many interesting articles on the site. Also, if you look to the right side you will see that Jane poses a great follow up question to my post. Take some time and enjoy the diversity that is </span><a href="http://adoptionvoicesmagazine.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #c27ba0; font-size: large;">Adoption Voices Magazine!</span></a></div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer">The Best For You available at AuthorHouse.com/Bookstore</div>Kelsey Stewart, Authorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11772746376820263241noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2954722762708102532.post-9517346770796698612013-01-27T15:50:00.001-08:002013-01-27T15:50:09.389-08:00Why I babble about adoption ... let's revisit, shall we?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;">I am tearing up this keyboard lately, and it will more than likely be tomorrow before I post the latest thoughts in my brain about adoption. But before I do that I want to make sure that all the new readers understand why it is that I write about adoption. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It seems cheesy to repost things, however .... this one not only is worth it but will explain why this author advocates for the positive side of adoption ...</span><br />
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<a href="http://thebestforyoubook.blogspot.com/2010/07/why-i-babble-about-adoption.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;"><strong><em>Why I Babble About Adoption</em></strong></span></a></div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer">The Best For You available at AuthorHouse.com/Bookstore</div>Kelsey Stewart, Authorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11772746376820263241noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2954722762708102532.post-2170485378273544842013-01-25T10:20:00.001-08:002013-01-25T10:24:07.875-08:00An Election To Remember<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;">Well hello to all of you out there in the blogging world! Yes! I am alive! Yes! I do still plan on giving my opinions on adoption! Yes! I have made a plan and resolution to come here at least twice a week (maybe more) to chat with you and catch up on all that is going on in this complex triad of adoption. But first, allow me to explain my absence.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Earlier in the summer of 2012, I made a decision to run for the local School Board. I have never liked politics, nor would I ever consider myself to be a politician. But wheter you run for City Council, President or School Board that is what you become: a Politician.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">So after much consideration and conversations with my husband I pulled papers to run for not only the Elementary Board, but also throw my hat in the ring for the New Unified Board should one come to be. You see, on our local ballot this past November was a measure to Unify our Elementary schools with our local High School. The voters spoke and Unification was passed. AND, the morning after the election I was on that new Unified Board by one vote. ONE VOTE! So, the tedious process of counting all the provisional ballots and absentee ballots to determine if I was really the winner, or if my opponent would pull ahead and take the seat.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The counting began and all it did was push me further and further out of reach of my new endeavour. The first semi official recount had me 30 votes behind my opponent. The second semi official count had me 46 behind my opponent. The third count had me 19 votes behind, this was a pick up in votes but still had me trailing for the last seat. I had accepted that I may not win that seat, and chalked the past three months up to experience. You see, I had no committee behind me, I had no signs in people's yard and I had no real experience in governance of school unlike all the other candidate running with me. I went door to door, talked to people, talked during my book fairs and let my past service speak for itself. I was not disappointed at all. I received a LOT of votes just based on what people knew of my many volunteering hats I wore. I was thrilled that people actually voted for me to be honest, especially when you consider I did not thrown a ton of money at my campaign. I figured if people wanted to vote for me based on all the good intentions I had, then they would.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So, the end of November comes and with it a chance to attend the California School Board Association Conference in San Francisco because after all, I was still seated on the Elementary Board starting in December. So I packed my bags, feeling like a big girl going to a prom because for many years now I have just been a mom. Sweatpants. Tennis shoes. Hair in a ponytail. But this time I had pantyhose, high heeled shoes, pretty dresses and professional attire for a very grown up conference. I was loving the fact that I was out there ready to make a difference. Unbeknownst to me, the final count of votes was to be released while we were at the conference so finally one of us candidates would know who would be serving on the new Board.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It was Thursday, November 29th in rainy San Francisco when I walked to the convention center to attend the classes I had an interest in. The first half of the day went by without any fan fare. Met some great people, sat in some classes that I had no idea what the hell they were talking about because there are as many acronyms in Education as there are stars in the sky! I took notes feverishly and tried my very best to follow what they were saying. Lunch came. I met up with the other Board Members and we went to Mel's Diner which was a hoot! While there, I get a call from the District Office of Education telling me that the results would be released that day and if I should win the seat, the swearing in ceremony would be in less than a week. Exciting! After lunch, we all went back to general session to hear the Keynote Speaker. (To save time but to toot this guy's brilliance, you can see a touch of Shawn Achor here on <a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work.html?quote=1292" target="_blank"><strong><span style="color: #cc0000;">Ted</span></strong></a>. AMAZING motivation for happiness!)</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The trade show floor was large, bright and full of free things. Take a pencil. Take a book. Need a planner? I have buttons! I was thrilled to be there, learning, networking, again ... being a big girl. I had made my rounds and decided to leave the show to take a break and peer down the street to catch a glimpse of AT&T Park, home of the Giants. As I left I ran into the man whom I was in the race with for the last seat. He's a good guy, kind and very respectful of people. We discussed when we would meet up to attend the dinner we were invited to that evening. No tension. Nothing that would say these two people are neck and neck in a tight race for the last seat on a Historical Election. (Unification had been in the works for years, and the last time a district did unify in the county was three decades ago.) We parted ways, he and his entourage to the far door for a taxi, me to the nearest door for fresh air and brick house for baseball delight. I heard my name. I looked around but there was no one I recognized. I kept walking. This time it was louder and more deliberate..."KELSEY! KELSEY!" I turned to see way back on the trade show floor the Superintendent of our district running with his phone in the air. I stopped, baffled, worried that something terrible had happened. But the closer he got, I could see a smile and not worry on his face. He ran up to me, still with his phone front and center.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #93c47d; font-size: large;"><em><strong>"You won the seat!" I did not reply, I was a bit stunned. What? But I was down this whole recount. </strong></em></span><br />
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<span style="color: #93c47d; font-size: large;"><em><strong>"You won the seat, and not by a lot." </strong></em></span><br />
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<span style="color: #93c47d; font-size: large;"><em><strong>"Well, are you sure?" because I remember that feeling on November 7th, seeing one vote and knowing exactly how Gore & Bush must have felt back in 2000. Then the weeks of recounts, seeing the margin change and not for the better.</strong></em></span><br />
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<span style="color: #93c47d; font-size: large;"><em><strong>"Yes, I am sure. It was just posted. Here, let me see..." he said scrolling and pushing his screen. "Ummm, oh my gosh! 8 votes."</strong></em></span><br />
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<span style="color: #93c47d; font-size: large;"><em><strong>"Your kidding me. 8 votes?" I was warm and tingly yet frozen at the same time. Half my face smiled while my eyebrows raised to ask the question for me.</strong></em></span><br />
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<span style="color: #93c47d; font-size: large;"><em><strong>"Nope. 8 votes. You are a Unified Board Member!" he said with much enthusiasm and a smile. I could think of nothing more to do than hug him. I grabbed and squeezed, unable to grasp the news. Shock like I had never felt it before.</strong></em></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I told him thank you for finding me, thank you for being the one to tell me and thank you for his support. As you can see, there is pure joy on this face ... as well as a bit of pride.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I immediately went outside but instead of seeing the stadium, I called my husband. When I told him, I could hear the smile on his face as he shouted ... "HEY BOYS! Mom won the election!" Hoots and hollers from the other end of the phone as they all told me how awesome I was. That was my favorite part of the day .... that phone call.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">My opponent was so very gracious. The moment he saw me later that evening he walked right up to me, shook my hand and congratulated me on winning the seat. It was a difficult moment for me, I was appreciative of his kindness but felt so bad that I won. It was a little odd, guess it is because of my nature. But we got past it and I was on my way to a reality that I only thought could happen. I volunteer A LOT. Little League. School. Scouts. Book Fairs. And by God I was proud that my reputation as a can do take charge mom followed me to the polls and helped give me the potential to do good for so many more children. And of course, just about every one I know tells me that they are one of the 8 who helped me get elected. It's amazing so see such support of a person who believes she can make a difference.</span><br />
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December 5, 2012</div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: small;">Photo by Rob Varela, Ventura County Star </span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: small;">New Santa Paula Unified School District board of trustees member Kelsey Stewart(right) chats with a supporter at the conclusion of the board's first meeting after they were sworn in Wednesday at the Santa Paula Community Center. Stewart had just learned she won her place on the board by 8 votes.</span><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rMCb1yCnTLo/UQLLZ244iYI/AAAAAAAABSw/M4aNnuK8gTA/s1600/election+talking.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" oea="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rMCb1yCnTLo/UQLLZ244iYI/AAAAAAAABSw/M4aNnuK8gTA/s320/election+talking.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">So that is where I have been, that is what I have been doing, and ever since the election I have been back to school in a sense devouring any and all literature I can find on Education Codes, Laws, Policies and so on. It's a big job, and I am LOVING it so far! But I have come to a point where the balance has allowed me to catch up so to speak and I have found time to be here, with you. I know most adoption blogs don't share this kind of personal information, but this story is something that I just had to share. I have always been a believer that you control your destiny, and that life is what you make of it. Twenty years ago I was struggling to get through day by day, scarred and sure that I would be broken forever. But today, I can say that I have learned to live again, scars and all, and it is those scars and turmoils that have helped me be the strong, caring, healthy woman that I am today. Here's to a great 2013 for us all! </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Oh, and if anyone ever says their vote does not count I beg to differ! Every. Vote. Counts!</span></div>
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<a href="http://www.vcstar.com/news/2012/dec/06/santa-paula-board-calls-inaugural-meeting-of/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #93c47d; font-size: large;">Ventura County Star ~ Landmark Night For Schools</span></a></div>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">The Best For You available at AuthorHouse.com/Bookstore</div>Kelsey Stewart, Authorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11772746376820263241noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2954722762708102532.post-69962676276819369542012-12-18T10:31:00.001-08:002012-12-18T10:31:52.871-08:00Sounds In The Silence ~ Three Sides of This Birthmotehr<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: large;">I know, I have not been around much and I do miss writing. But it seems that the people in my community believed in me and I won the School Board Seat by just 8 votes! That was AFTER the absentee and provisional ballots were counted, so November was quite a long month for me waiting for counts to be official. But here I am, Mom, Volunteer, Board Trustee!!! It is both exciting and scary at the same time and I have stacks and stacks of papers to read ... hence the absence.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">However today I came across a writing I did for Adoption Voices Magazine that was posted recently, but written a while ago. After re reading this piece I was struck at how much it reflects the events in our country this past week. All those families will have to move through the tragedy that was Sandy Hook and I hope somewhere out there one of those families can find this post and through their grief and sorrow somehow be able to find a light ... a sign that life will fulfill them once again with happiness and love. My heart goes out to all who live in that community, they have a long road of recovery ahead of them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So here is the contribution that I want to share ... some of you may be able to connect to something in here....</span><br />
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<a href="http://adoptionvoicesmagazine.com/sounds-in-the-silence/sounds-in-the-silence-three-sides-of-this-birth-mother/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;"><em><strong>Sound In The Silence~ Three Sides Of This Birthmother</strong></em></span></a></div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer">The Best For You available at AuthorHouse.com/Bookstore</div>Kelsey Stewart, Authorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11772746376820263241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2954722762708102532.post-63119659952248334362012-11-16T09:09:00.002-08:002012-11-16T09:09:57.111-08:00My Favorite Happy Thought About Adoption<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: large;">Today is National Adoption Awareness Day, a day meant to bring attention to the topic that so many live day to day. I know that there are those who do not cherish adoption, who often will try and insert negativity at any opportunity they can. Let them. They have a reason and a voice, so I think they should use it to advocate for what they think is right.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I like to share my positives with others because too often we loose sight of what adoption <i>can be</i>. For me, adoption is a part of my life every day and I try my best to live a life of peace. 20+ years of walking without my children has taught me so much. I cherish my children regardless of what others may think. Not a day goes by that I do not wake up and say a prayer for them, asking God to watch over them and bring them happiness in their lives.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">But often we forget about the other family members who gain from adoption. The siblings. The cousins. The aunts. The grandparents. To touch so many lives with one action is awe inspiring. (haters need not comment, I know how you feel about what I am saying.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">This story is an example of what adoption means to those other family members. I carry this day in my heart always, and if I am feeling the pressure I think back to what this young man's words meant to me ... not just then, but also on a day like today.</span><br />
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<a href="http://thebestforyoubook.blogspot.com/2010/01/happy-thoughts2.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Happy Thoughts #2</i></b></span></a><br />
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">The Best For You available at AuthorHouse.com/Bookstore</div>Kelsey Stewart, Authorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11772746376820263241noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2954722762708102532.post-37995043746736436572012-11-11T10:09:00.001-08:002012-11-11T10:09:35.571-08:00Advocate the right way ... EDUCATION!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: large;">I have written so much about adoption. Look at those labels to the right, there are a LOT of topics! My goal this month is to bring that all down to just 10 categories as I have many new followers who may see that list as a challenge. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So while I am working on the blog, I thought I would post this gem from a couple of years ago. It was the year that I wrote every day because it was <i><span style="color: #93c47d;">National Adoption Awareness Month</span></i>, and I had so many things to say!</span><br />
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<a href="http://thebestforyoubook.blogspot.com/2010/11/advocate-right-way-education.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Advocate the right way ... Education!</span></a></div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer">The Best For You available at AuthorHouse.com/Bookstore</div>Kelsey Stewart, Authorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11772746376820263241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2954722762708102532.post-54564826593387456532012-11-10T13:19:00.000-08:002012-11-10T13:21:18.510-08:00Adoption Avocation, life heritage and ghost stories ... oh my!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-d3-xiJkIfkQ/UJ7EiDpGeBI/AAAAAAAABRA/1mi7_30Lvmw/s1600/Bacon+Liberty+and+Life.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="107" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-d3-xiJkIfkQ/UJ7EiDpGeBI/AAAAAAAABRA/1mi7_30Lvmw/s320/Bacon+Liberty+and+Life.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This photo was used courtesy of The Bacon Party on Facebook.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Okay, my post on Tuesday was a little weird. But I cannot
stand to see people hurting in our Country and not receive the help that they
need. I am off my soapbox.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Instead, allow me to explain my sometimes here sometimes no
attitude towards blogging lately. I took it upon myself to run for the local
School Board and I had no idea just how much time it would take from my regular
routine. It was a three month blur of talking, meeting, talking, smiling,
listening, talking and making sure people knew not only who I was, but what my
platform would be.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I did this because a one income family does not have extra
cash to spend on a campaign. Besides, nothing makes me more irritated than to
hear the National Candidates’ spent over a billion on their campaigns. I don’t
want to buy your vote, I wan to talk to you, tell you my ideas, hear your
concerns and then let you know that if elected, I am going to work hard for our
students.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">My approach worked. Despite not having a committee to back
me, yard signs to plunk strategically down the most driven streets and no
experience in the position I was running for … over 2,500 people in the
community voted for me. Guess a reputation can make a difference in an unknown candidate.
Because to tell you the truth, I bet there are more kids in town that know who
I am than adults. I volunteer quite a bit, and make it a priority to give each
kid my undivided attention so they know I am there for them. Not me. Not anyone
else. I am there for the kids.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The election ran so well for me, that at the end of the
first count I was one vote ahead to gain a seat on the Board. One Vote! If that
is not democracy, I don’t know what is. And if you think to yourself, “my vote
does not really matter,” well this is key evidence that it does!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Now we move onto counting all the absentee and provisional
ballots which could be finished soon, but could take as long as December 4<sup>th</sup>
to determine who the Board member will be officially. In the last update on the
County Recorders Office it said I was behind my opponent by 30 votes. That is
still a very small margin, so more waiting will follow. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">So, yes, now I know how Bush and Gore felt in 2000. I now
know what a long wait means. I now know what I could have done differently and
what I did right. Either way, I am thrilled that so many believed in me and
chose to give me a chance in this election.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">But this is a blog about adoption, and it is National
Adoption Month so I SHOULD be writing about that topic, not an election that
for some is now history. I want to write, but just cannot keep my mind off of
the future here and now. I have tried, but have failed to write coherently what
I want to convey. SO instead of babbling on, I will leave you today with this
post from <st1:country-region w:st="on">NAM</st1:country-region>
two years ago. It is a post that will provoke thoughts, perhaps some anger but
mostly I hope it brings some deep contemplating about what you can take from my
words.</span></div>
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<a href="http://thebestforyoubook.blogspot.com/2010/11/adoption-advocation-and-life-heritage.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #93c47d; font-size: x-large;">Adoption Avocation, and Life Heritage and Ghost Stories ... OH MY! </span></a></div>
</div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer">The Best For You available at AuthorHouse.com/Bookstore</div>Kelsey Stewart, Authorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11772746376820263241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2954722762708102532.post-29664176648404933332012-11-06T00:12:00.002-08:002012-11-06T00:29:26.568-08:00National Adoption Month? So What!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">White Ribbons represent Adoption Awareness</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size: large;">It's that time of year. For those of us who are in the realm of adoption we are aware of what November brings. You may be one of those who posts religiously to raise awareness. You may be one of those who completely turns off the adoption reading for the entire month. You may be wondering what the hell I am talking about, adoption what?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">This was the month chosen to celebrate, or criticize, the whole concept of adoption. Believe me, you do not have to look far to find it, just Google Adoption Awareness Month. There are entries after entries about the topic. Feel free to explore.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">And not to be a hypocrite, I too have written endlessly about November. Just look to the label section of this blog and click on Adoption Awareness Month. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">But today, November 6th 2012 is a different day. Not your typical November day. It is Election Day in America. No, I am not going to swap the awareness in this post with pushing my political agenda. I do not have one. This is America and in a democracy everyone is entitled to their opinion, their vote. Instead I am going to encourage you to vote, because so often there are many who will not bother. But instead of watching the political rallies, the pomp and circumstance, I ask that you instead Google Hurricane Sandy and find footage from today. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I ask you to do this because every four or five years our country suffers a natural disaster that reminds us how vulnerable we all are, and how life can change in an instant. There are parts of the Eastern Seaboard that are ruined, destroyed, left defenseless and people are scrambling to find help, to find food, to find water. We all heard about it for a few days, saw before and after pictures, heard stories of horror as the storm pounded so many towns, cities, burrows that will forever change the landscape and mindset for residents. It was reported on, but as of yesterday the attention ceased to make way for reports of polls and undecided voters.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Decided or not, take a moment from National Adoption Month to read a little about what is to come regardless of the Election outcome: there is another storm on the way and it looks to be salt on the wound, and may just push all that we have seen to the brink. The temperatures are dropping. The water from the storm will be cold. The winds will pick up. There is no electricity. No transportation. There are people who are homeless and cannot find help anywhere. I watched tonight as people called into a show (somehow they were able to air something other than the Election) and they were begging for help. There is no order, no plan. People are living in the streets, in other's garages, in overcrowded shelters and not one of them can get emergency help.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: arial;">
<span style="font-size: large;">The States have told people to go Online to find help. There is no electricity, no computers if there was electricity, and no homes if there were computers in them with electricity hooked up. Simple things are gone. So much attention was given and help promised from many, but where is the help? Outside of these communities helping themselves, where is the help that was promised? Where is FEMA when New Jersey and New York need them? And where are the politicians? They were there for the cameras a week ago. Media will tell you that our President did a great job with the Hurricane, but as I write this he just repeated for the 1,000 time that Osama Bin Laden is dead. Great! But there are Americans suffering right now, on our shores, in our country. Why are you not talking about this, encouraging volunteers to get there and lend a hand? Katrina was talked about for a month, yet Sandy only a week?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">It's all been put on hold because it is Election Day. Bad timing, but it should make you think. Is this how you would want to be ignored if it was your community?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Help bring awareness today to something we all should be paying attention to, the Hurricane Sandy aftermath. Instead of focusing on adoption awareness, just for one day help bring awareness to those that need it right now. In adoption, we know loss on many different levels. Some of us on levels others could never understand. Well just like us, there are thousands of people <i>right now</i> that are suffering loss that no one can understand. On top of that stress they are looking head on into another storm that will only hinder efforts to recover. </span></div>
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<b><i><span style="color: #93c47d; font-size: x-large;">Because we are a democracy, we have the freedom to choose what we bring awareness to</span></i></b><span style="font-size: large;">, and today I choose to make everyone aware of this fact: folks on the East Coast need help. Election Day or not, people need help. National Adoption Awareness Month or not, people need help. Please don't forget this. If you have time, post or tweet or do whatever it is that you do & raise awareness for our fellow Americans. </span></div>
</div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer">The Best For You available at AuthorHouse.com/Bookstore</div>Kelsey Stewart, Authorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11772746376820263241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2954722762708102532.post-39206023683310312182012-10-16T16:05:00.003-07:002012-10-16T16:09:00.626-07:00Lucky 13<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-c7YGMAsXunM/UH3nC2Yq3OI/AAAAAAAABOw/nZ87f9qsKCs/s1600/0052080-R1-E109.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" nea="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-c7YGMAsXunM/UH3nC2Yq3OI/AAAAAAAABOw/nZ87f9qsKCs/s320/0052080-R1-E109.jpg" width="216" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #93c47d;"><em>My favorite thing about this photo </em></span><br />
<span style="color: #93c47d;"><em>is the woman who stopped behind us, </em></span><br />
<span style="color: #93c47d;"><em>just to take a look see.</em></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #93c47d; font-size: x-large;"><em>13</em></span> is considered an unlucky number. I happen to like the number 13 and do not find anything superstitious about it, believing it all to be hoopla.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">Today is my anniversary. 13 years I have been married to Bruce, and I can honestly say that every year we come upon this day we find ourselves more in love than the year before. We have been through so much in our courtship, relationship and marriage that I doubt you could find a circumstance that we could not tackle together.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">He has been my backbone, my best friend and my jester for years! I say jester in an endearing way because just when I am about to commit homicide, he reels me back to sanity with his unmatched sense of humor. He can touch my soul, and make me feel as if there is no one else on Earth. He works hard for our family, volunteers just as much as I do and he makes it all look so very easy.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">He is admired and loved by many, which only makes me adore him more.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">He has been more than a husband, more than a friend, and more than a soul mate. <strong><em><span style="color: #93c47d;">He IS my heart.</span></em></strong> Bottom line. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">Happy Anniversary to the man who reminds me every day that life is an amazing journey and rather than try to control it ... it is best enjoyed unleashed! </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">Love you to the stars and beyond,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">Me</span><br />
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">The Best For You available at AuthorHouse.com/Bookstore</div>Kelsey Stewart, Authorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11772746376820263241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2954722762708102532.post-19062900103623687522012-10-09T11:17:00.001-07:002012-10-09T12:38:54.115-07:00Only One Life<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UqCHfJlqvHA/UHRp_pNzTJI/AAAAAAAABN0/fEvznzpP77I/s1600/baseball-field1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="203" nea="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UqCHfJlqvHA/UHRp_pNzTJI/AAAAAAAABN0/fEvznzpP77I/s320/baseball-field1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> photo found at kevinalanlamb.com</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I love to read. It is the one thing that anyone can do to get away, without paying an arm and a leg for a vacation. One year ago, I was stuffing my nose into any book I can find on adoption. <em>The Girls Who Went Away. Good Girls Don't. Birthmark. Life Givers. The Primal Wound.</em> And the list goes on and on. I could not get enough of other's stories, studying their thoughts, their fears, their lives. I was hell bent on discovering all that there was to discover about adoption, or at least discover some things I did not already know.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">For months I devoured all kinds of literature, whether books, Internet, or magazines ... I wanted to know it all. Soon I realized that I was filling my heart with more questions, more pain and more uncertainty. I talked to all kinds of people who were in the triad and was fascinated by all that was being presented to me. It was amazing, yet quite taxing at the same time. I know that life of loss is hard, and for some it is torture. I tried very hard to be open and keep in mind that not everyone had the same experiences I had, and more so I tried to keep every story close to me. As if I could recount everything I had read and where it should be utilized.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It was a long journey that helped me understand things better, but I did realize that it was also taxing my heart. It is a huge load to bear when you try to solve the world's problems.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">This year, I am still reading. However this time it is not about adoption, but rather things not at all related to adoption. I reread The Outsiders which reminded me how much I love SE HINTON. I then blew through Rumble Fish, That Was Then This Is Now and Tex as if I were reading for dear life. I found some authors that I had never been exposed to, and also came across some gems that I had never heard of but captured my soul non the less. Shoeless Joe was a fantastic journey. Although I have seen <em>Field of Dreams</em> many times, reading the book upon which the movie was based was almost religious for me. As I read it, I fell in love all over again with the game of baseball. Then my thoughts drifted to my boys and how much they love the game. I have taught both of them the position of catcher and just like me, they love putting on the equipment and sacrificing their bodies to stop the ball ... protecting not just the plate but their whole team against unwanted runs. Every turn of the page, I was reminded of how much one generation can teach another. My heart was filled with peace in a way that only a book can do.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I found that while I let my mind wander to what my boys could be doing years from now (playing for the Cardinals ... the older catching for the younger who pitches so effortlessly it is like watching a dancer move with precision to music), my heart settled on the thought that life is good and I am so very blessed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">What is the point of this post? Life goes on. It moves at lightning speed the older you get and soon you have to choose what is more important: living in the past and mulling over things you cannot change or loving what you have been given and cherishing who you are no matter what your past may have been.</span><br />
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<strong><em><span style="color: #c27ba0; font-size: large;">You only have one life. Make the best of it and learn to forgive what you cannot change and love what you can do here and now. </span></em></strong></div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer">The Best For You available at AuthorHouse.com/Bookstore</div>Kelsey Stewart, Authorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11772746376820263241noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2954722762708102532.post-46836511289401946182012-10-06T09:00:00.004-07:002012-10-06T09:59:34.605-07:00Abortion and Adoption ... <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;">I would like to thank my friend Monika for sharing this and making me aware of this writer. What an interesting and thought provoking post! It is a little long, but well worth taking in her words.</span><br />
<br />
<a href="http://racilous.wordpress.com/2012/10/06/what-the-path-to-reduce-abortions-should-b/?like=1&_wpnonce=68d26d17fa" target="_blank"><span style="color: #c27ba0; font-size: large;">What the Path to Reduce Abortions Should Be ... Hint, It's Not More Adoptions</span></a></div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer">The Best For You available at AuthorHouse.com/Bookstore</div>Kelsey Stewart, Authorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11772746376820263241noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2954722762708102532.post-53735906928639736682012-10-04T11:12:00.001-07:002012-10-04T11:12:40.446-07:00Cuts Like a Razor<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: large;">As I said in the last post, since becoming a contributor for the magazine Adoption Voices I have been receiving many opinions from folks who feel the need to tell me how much they despise me. It's all good with me, because if I am making you mad then there are things I am saying that are true. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I am not one to shy away from confrontation, nor am I one to be walked over. I know a lot about adoption, and I know even more about living life without part of your heart with you. So if someone chooses to slam me for what I think, what I did or what I am trying to then they have the right to do so. The world would not be the same without debates, and we are better for it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">However, when I speak on this blog I am speaking from MY point of view. Not yours. Not hers. Not theirs. It is my opinion, and mine only. I do not choose to write to piss people off. I do not choose to write to force my opinions onto others. I write because there are many things I have experienced that may just help someone else on their journey. I choose to share my thoughts, my story and my opinions because in all my years living as a birth mother I have yet to meet another birth mother with a story remotely close to mine. I have two different experiences in adoption that are unique and so far have been quite comfortable for everyone involved. There have been issues here and there, but for the most part all of our lives have been enriched by the choice of adoption.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Why am I saying all of this? Because in my infinite wisdom I still have issues with others trying to silence me, trying to tell me I don't know what I am talking about. Perhaps you do not know just how many stories there are to explore out there. I have an open mind, I can listen to anyone and take away from that conversation what it is that you want me to come away with. I only ask that you have an open mind when reading what it is that I am trying to say. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">And now I am off my soapbox, thanks for listening.</span><br />
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">The Best For You available at AuthorHouse.com/Bookstore</div>Kelsey Stewart, Authorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11772746376820263241noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2954722762708102532.post-44935895340231357202012-09-30T21:48:00.001-07:002012-09-30T21:52:47.669-07:00It's My Book, My Story, So Back Off <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: large;">Writing about adoption sucks. It also can be quite rewarding, but for the most part it just sucks. I am fortunate for the people I meet that get me, who understand mothers have different stories. The people who can find places in their hearts & heads to open up and HEAR others. I love each and every one of you. <em><span style="color: #d5a6bd;"><strong>All the others can stick it .... where ever you like, as long as it is far from me.</strong></span></em></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">This is brought on and will explain why I have been absent for so very long from you, my faithful readers. Several months back I was introduced and became friends with a wonderful woman who asked me to contribute for her magazine. AWESOME! I was so excited, and I still am because she provides a platform for so many voices in adoption that I consider myself rather lucky to be involved. However, being on a larger, wider based publication will invite more of the lovelies. And yes, I am being sarcastic using a nice word to describe some very nasty human beings.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I have been attacked before, and I can handle anything someone wants to throw at me. It's cool, I am game for a little banter and perhaps enlightenment on a subject that has been a part of my life for so, so long. I have dealt with the nastiest of the lovelies and come out better for it, because there is nothing finer than a challenge to remind you just what you are made of, and more importantly what it is that you are wanting to do with your life.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">This particular post will address an issue that some people have chosen to bring to my attention. Wait, let me rephrase: people have <em><strong>barraged</strong></em> me with messages expressing just how heartless and uncaring I am to exclude certain things from my book. Yes, MY book. The book that I wrote. The book that I wrote because for YEARS I could not find the book to say the things I was thinking. </span><em><strong><span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: x-large;">My book that tells MY story, a story that is unique yet has many similar qualities to others out there in the adoption triad. </span></strong></em><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Allow me to say this, I wrote my book based on my experience and what happened as I knew it. I am white. I am straight. I do believe that children need two parents in their lives. I know that it did make me sad to leave them, but it gave me great pride that I was able to ask for help when many would not. This is the story I told, because it is MY story. If the book does not follow your story completely, that is okay. People are different. Different colors, different religions, different ways to love. Please do not try to change my story to fit your life. If you like the book, share it with your kids. If you need to add or take out things to fit your situation, do so. If you do not like my book, then do not share it. I thank you for reading it, and appreciate your feedback as long as it is kind and respectful.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">However, please do not ask me to rewrite my book to fit what your family looks like. Sure, it would be great if you could have exactly what your family looks like in a book and if that is what you want I am sure you can find a way to create your OWN masterpiece online. <em><strong><span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-size: x-large;">But to suggest that I am racist, biased, homophobic or anything else just because I wrote and drew the pictures that were in my mind is absolutely ridiculous. It is ridiculous and disrespectful.</span></strong></em> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So you contact other authors and ask them to change their characters to fit what you see in your mind? I hope not! We would not ask Leo Tolstoy to change the title from "War and Peace" to just "Peace" because we don't like the word war, would we?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I appreciate your thoughtfulness and thank you for your understanding in this matter .... eh?</span><br />
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">The Best For You available at AuthorHouse.com/Bookstore</div>Kelsey Stewart, Authorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11772746376820263241noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2954722762708102532.post-75975780189163000462012-08-19T08:44:00.000-07:002012-08-19T08:44:33.948-07:00Foster Care Needs Help<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-izOUWfmUDoQ/UDEJQd05bXI/AAAAAAAABK4/sNuEYoAkfOw/s1600/foster+care+pic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" mda="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-izOUWfmUDoQ/UDEJQd05bXI/AAAAAAAABK4/sNuEYoAkfOw/s1600/foster+care+pic.jpg" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;">I tell ya, people come in my life and people go out of my life. This past year, one woman came into my life who has helped me see things differently, taught me to take some time to explore what it is that is out there and to recognize that there are many more possibilities through adoption than I could have ever imagined.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-size: large;">I am speaking about Jane Ballack, the chief editor of Adoption Voices Magazine and the author of Your My Second Momma, Aren't You blog. She is one incredible beacon of light, not just for me as a writer but for many others out there who need and want to understand all the different facets of adoption. She writes her truths and is not afraid to share anything with anyone, especially when it comes to adoption.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-size: large;">She posted on her blog yesterday about Foster Care and included a writing from her husband that explained the impact that one little video had on him while he was waiting for Jury Duty, of all things! Curious as a cat I watched the two minute video. So glad I did. </span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-size: large;">I know several adoptees that came out of the Foster Care System through the Internet and I have to say they are some pretty spectacular people! I cannot imagine growing up and not having someone there to say "Good Job!" or "It will all be alright" or "Come here so I can hug and kiss you silly." I cannot imagine that because I had love growing up. But when you see that there are so many out there who do not have that kind of love, stability or happiness in their lives it hits home and makes me think, how many kids could be helped if people knew that Foster Care is not an evil entity? How many kids could wake up in the morning knowing that someone was waiting for them to open their eyes just so they could hug them? How many kids walk around wondering if they will ever feel unconditional love, wondering if they will have to go their whole adolescence alone?</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-size: large;">The thought makes me want to go out and adopt them all. But alas, I just cannot do that. No one can. However, if one would just consider Fostering a child then there might be a way to help many children who would cherish a family. Any family that they could call their own.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-size: large;">Take a moment to watch this video that was shared on </span><a href="http://mysecondmama.com/2012/08/leaving-home-with-a-trash-bag/"><span style="font-size: large;">Your My Second Momma. Aren't You</span></a><span style="font-size: large;">. And if it does not appeal to you, please share it with others you know because they may not know of all the children looking for families. </span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/embed/QOqx4ggOJWc"><span style="color: #93c47d; font-size: x-large;">Say Yes</span></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9XjKuYCXYOo/UDEJVjU-_UI/AAAAAAAABLA/LO-ShKHW82E/s1600/Dave+Thomas+Foundations+Logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" mda="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9XjKuYCXYOo/UDEJVjU-_UI/AAAAAAAABLA/LO-ShKHW82E/s1600/Dave+Thomas+Foundations+Logo.jpg" /></a></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">The Best For You available at AuthorHouse.com/Bookstore</div>Kelsey Stewart, Authorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11772746376820263241noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2954722762708102532.post-58372462859187916782012-08-15T21:40:00.000-07:002012-08-15T21:40:55.516-07:00Raging About Adoption Education<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-seBGUd6X-Y8/UCx5mGoJL2I/AAAAAAAABJ8/9didzEDRdPQ/s1600/Flamingos.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" mda="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-seBGUd6X-Y8/UCx5mGoJL2I/AAAAAAAABJ8/9didzEDRdPQ/s320/Flamingos.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;">Not long ago a blog I follow posted an interesting piece about raising adopted children. Her delima happened on a playground when she had to help her son out a bit when some kids started to rattle him about being adopted. She is a brilliant writer, funny and thought provoking with a touch of common sense that will sneak up and bite ya.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I commented on the post because as she often does, her words blew me away. Her compassion is rich, yet she is not afraid to point out what matters to her to anyone, regardless of the looks she may be the recipient of. Her simple post about manners in adoption sparked a 2 week debate from all kinds of people. Of course those in adoption. And those out of adoption. The point raised as to whether someone outside of adoption should make their own children aware of what adoptive families are like was the controversy. It was a fascinating read, and to be honest I looked forward to seeing the alert that someone new had commented. It was a good conversation, from all sides. I would have made you aware of it earlier, but there are things that have been pressing and I just have not had the proper time on this computer to say hello, how you been, sorry I've been gone and did ya hear about this? </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">If you have some time, this is the link to her post. And if you have room on your blog roll I would recommend adding her. She is a mom first, and everything else second. That is the point of view she gives. It is refreshing, and she will make you ponder things, that is for sure. I would love to know your thoughts on this if you have them.... Happy Summer!</span><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2012/07/parents-please-educate-your-kids-about.html">Rage Against The Minivan ~ Parents, please educate your children about adoption so mine don't have to</a></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span> <span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><em>Oh and I know flamingos have nothing at all to do with this post, they just remind me of summer :)</em></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">The Best For You available at AuthorHouse.com/Bookstore</div>Kelsey Stewart, Authorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11772746376820263241noreply@blogger.com3