I had just turned 20, and placed my first child for adoption because I knew it was the best thing for her. My relationship with my boyfriend began around July '91. Bruce had been such a good friend for many years, we were just starting our relationship and it was really working. Early '92 I find out we are pregnant and am thrilled because I know that we are meant to be together. Then the doctor said "My dear there are two...you are having twins" and my heart sank. Twins are much different than just one baby. He was 19, I was 21 and neither of us had a carreer, a home or apartment, or a savings account. We knew that adoption was the option that was best. He understood that I knew what I was doing and he trusted me the whole way. I insisted on moving to California because there was NO WAY I was going to be badgered like I was in the first adoption. My cousins had just adopted a baby there and knew the connections that I needed to start the process. My man stayed in STL and worked so that he could save for his schooling and I lived in California while I was pregnant. I met with three different couples and chose a wonderful couple that had been trying to have a family of their own for several years. They had been married for a while at that point and I thought to myself...here is the reason that God is making me do this for a second time, these people need me to fulfill their dreams of becoming parents. I spoke to my boyfriend about all the couples and we both decided to choose the couple that I liked. I again made it clear that I would need pictures and updates to which they have complied all of these years. I have not seen the twins since they were born but I know who they are becuase their parents tell me about them in letters.
I am one lucky woman to have had these wonderful parents take care of my heart all of these years. My man stood by me and several years later asked for my hand in marriage and we have been happy ever since. Our own sons know who their siblings are and they are perfectly fine with all of it. They are more than willing to tell people all about their brave parents and what we have done. It is great to see your own children singing YOUR praises!
Now that I am older, have healed and am a mother with my own children, I found the courage to write a book from my perspective as a birth mother explaining adoption to children. I really think that this book can change the way people think about adoption and birth mothers. It can help kids understand some of the logic that their mothers were thinking in making this monumental decision, it can help adult adoptees if they are still searching for answers, it can help adoptive parents understand what the woman who gave them their child might have went through, it can help pregnant girls out there now understand that even though it is a difficult decision and nothing about it will be easy...you can still continue life and find fulfillment like I have. I have many positive things to tell about adoption and can only hope that this book will allow me to do that.
I have my own family to love and who love me and the Man upstairs has rewarded me handsomely for my giving heart. On the last page of my book The Best For You, there is a sentence that says..."Adoption is God's love given twice।" That is how I look at it...he gave me the strength, courage and love that it takes to turn around and say...here is a family of your own.
Thank you for reading my story. I sure am proud of what I have done and am even prouder that I had such an amazing influence in my life like my mother who made me the person that I am.
The Journey That Defined My Book, Part Two
I have been on this journey of motherhood for over 20 years and every single day I find a new reason to be grateful for the open adoptions that I had. I blog to tell people my story, my thoughts, my trials, my heartaches, my pride and my joys. I have an incredibly positive outlook about adoption and strive to show the good that has happened in my life and the lives of my children. I do not speak for all birth mothers out there, but I do speak from many years of experience and evolving.