Tuesday, February 21, 2012

This Is Not Adoption, So Don't Bring The Word Into This Case!

Normally I do not write immediately after something affects me. I give it a while so my brain can take it in and then I form my thoughts. That is all out the window after the disgusting segment I just saw on the Today Show.

Somehow, someway Kristy Gaffney was duped by a man she met online and has lost custody of her child she had with him. What the hell does this have to do with adoption? I would think nothing. But alas, I am wrong in this case. You see, not only was she duped by him in love ... but she was duped all the way around! This man, whom she had a relationship with for 18 months, was married to another woman the entire time. He strung Kristy along telling her he loved her, he wanted to have a family with her, he wanted to marry her. What a crock!

With talk of family, marriage and buying a house Kristy became pregnant with his child and thought nothing of it other than to be happy that her dreams were coming true. With his name not on the birth certificate after the baby was born, he asked Gaffney to sign some paperwork allowing him to claim his right as the baby's father. In that lie he set up his "adoption". This man (who used a fake name while dating Ms Gaffney) visited the mother and child one night about two months later and asked if he could take the baby with him for the evening. That was the beginning of the nightmare. He kidnapped (although that word is no where in this story!) the child, then told Kristy that he was married and was going to adopt the baby and he and his wife would be raising as their own.

Where in there can you even fit the word adoption? How can anyone see this as adoption? It is not, so please do not call it that. I am just furious that this case is out there. I am livid that the court system cannot help this woman and her plea that this man is a fraud, and therefore anything he said or had her sign should be null and void. I am offended that the word adoption is attached to this case. And don't even get me started on this monster's attorney who pleaded with Ms Gaffney to not bring media attention to this case. Hey buddy! Why don't you read up on what your ethical obligation is in a case like this, I am pretty sure that YOU can see that your client is IN THE WRONG!

I just cannot believe that this situation can be called adoption. It is grossly misrepresented and the court system should know when they see something that is by far an injustice.

Please see this link for the complete story. (You can also goggle her name and come up with many other articles as this story really broke at the beginning of February.) 

What are your thoughts about this? Am I just crazy or is this an example of what is wrong with our judicial system when it comes to what is, and what is not, adoption?

Photo of Ms Gaffney is curtsey of Wiki News.


Von said...

Many situations where a child is taken illegally and raised by others can be described as adoption. Think of it from the childs/adoptees perspective.The situation is bad enough for many who are the victims of grey market adoption or other means of acquiring children without doing as other mothers have done in denying their rights to include themselves which causes enormous distress and aloneness.We have seen examples during tyhe Aust.Government Inquiry into forced adoption when the mothers of origins have been particularly cruel about wanting strict categories for adoptees. Isn't it up to the adoptee once they are of age? Hopefully in the case you mention this child will be retrieved and justice will be done.

Kelsey Stewart, Author said...

I agree Von, about the cases which you bring as an example. I think you and I know that there have been many women in history who have been tricked into adoption and have it stand as legal.

My issue with this case is the fact that this despicable man who was a fraud from the beginning has any right at all. He was in a marriage already, he lied to this woman for 18 months, and then used a piece of paper that she signed to call it all adoption. I don't see this as an adoption case at all. It was kidnapping. Pure and simple. If he was using a alias, living life as a lie then the COURTS should see this as fraud, but they are not. They have attached the word adoption to this case and it is just not so.

I have read many articles and researched numerous cases where what I am saying above(kidnapping) does apply to what happens in adoption. But this woman simply let the father of her child spend some time with their daughter, only to be slapped in the face by the judicial system under the blanket that "adoption" papers were signed. I don't understand how the courts can even think twice in this case. I sure hope she keeps talking, keeps raising awareness and does get her daughter back.

As always, thanks for reading and adding your wisdom and thoughts to this topic!

LeMira said...

How did this man justify this with his wife?! I mean, this just makes me ill. The baby has a wonderful mother who loves her. How would he justify this to his child?

I agree this is kidnapping, NOT adoption. I don't care what that family calls it; I can't figure out how this situation is a legal adoption with fraud involved. . .

Von said...

Agree so hope the justice system does the right thing by this woman and her child.Do you think he deliberately deceived her in order to take the child?
When I referred to children taken illegally I was referring to cases where a mother consents due to a crisis but the transfer to carers is not legal leaving the child in limbo, not officially an adoptee, unable to discover identity or to ever know who they are, not quite foundlings but certainly under the radar.

Kelsey Stewart, Author said...

Could not agree more LeMira!

Kelsey Stewart, Author said...

Von, my first thought when I hear the story in it's entirety I thought to myself that he DID do this purposely. After what he has done to this woman since the baby was born, I would not put it past him that this was all premeditated.

And thank you for clarifying what you wrote before. I now see it clearly.

Robyn C said...

What does the man say? Does he admit to the fraud, or just to the affair? There are always two sides to every story.

It's an adoption case because apparently the woman signed her rights away, allowing the baby to be adopted. I imagine the father is saying that he didn't commit the fraud, that the mother knew what she was doing, and is now trying to get the baby back by claiming fraud.

On the face of it, the man is scum. Certainly the courts found the woman had signed the papers under duress, so the adoption should be overturned.

I just wonder what the guy's story is, and what his wife's is... Weird!