Warning: If you are a birth mother, this video will grab your heart and hopefully help you realize that SOMETIMES there are adoptees who speak so beautifully about their origins. This man is one of those adoptees. This is a short interview that I found quite by accident, and as you who read me often know I do believe in fate, and I do believe that things happen for a reason. I think I found this video not only for me, but more so to share with my readers.
This passage is what brings it home for me, and hopefully these powerful words will touch you in the same way they did me:
And then there is the song of which Mark is speaking of in this interview. This link will take you there. Mind you, there may be tears. There may be long sighs. There may be some reminiscing that will happen after seeing this. I don't share it to upset you, but rather to show you that somewhere .... someone took the time to write this for his mother and although he probably did not mean to, he has touched countless others who needed to hear these words from him.
Everything to Me ~ Mark Schultz
Thank you so much to Mark Schultz for this perspective. Thank you Mark for an honest interview that shows how much you have been affected by what your birth mother did for you. And finally, thank you Mark for making my heart smile ... both through your talent and your beautiful words in the interview. May your life continue to be blessed, and may you know what this song means to so many of us.
This passage is what brings it home for me, and hopefully these powerful words will touch you in the same way they did me:
"I can't wait someday to, in heaven, meet people who were born because their birth parents heard this song. I can't wait for my birth mom to meet those people so she can realize she didn't make a mistake." Mark Schultz
And then there is the song of which Mark is speaking of in this interview. This link will take you there. Mind you, there may be tears. There may be long sighs. There may be some reminiscing that will happen after seeing this. I don't share it to upset you, but rather to show you that somewhere .... someone took the time to write this for his mother and although he probably did not mean to, he has touched countless others who needed to hear these words from him.
Everything to Me ~ Mark Schultz
Thank you so much to Mark Schultz for this perspective. Thank you Mark for an honest interview that shows how much you have been affected by what your birth mother did for you. And finally, thank you Mark for making my heart smile ... both through your talent and your beautiful words in the interview. May your life continue to be blessed, and may you know what this song means to so many of us.
Posts
8 comments:
Thank you for sharing this story. It's beautiful and yes, it brought tears and pulled on my heartstrings.
I cry every time I hear this song and watch the video, and the waterworks usually come when she goes into labor. . . I can't stop the tears at that point. My heart always aches for her because I know what comes next.
First of all, I want to say that the singer sounds likely a lovely man and I know that his bmom would be proud of him.
However, I did want to comment on what you said here:
"This passage is what brings it home for me, and hopefully these powerful words will touch you in the same way they did me:
"I can't wait someday to, in heaven, meet people who were born because their birth parents heard this song. I can't wait for my birth mom to meet those people so she can realize she didn't make a mistake." Mark Schultz"
I actually felt a bitncomfortable reading that ON BEHALF of his bmom. It may not be his intention but it comes across as sounding as if he is hoping to reassure his birthmother (presumably when they meet in heaven) that she didn’t make a mistake in continuing her pregnancy – however, what if he ever found out that at no time did she ever consider it a mistake to continue her pregnancy, i.e. termination may never even have crossed his bmom’s mind? What if he discovered that, in fact, she would love to have been in a position to parent him but due to lack of support (the 60s and70s being what they were) that that was not a true viable option?
The above isn’t a criticism of Mark as he sounds like he has a great deal of love in his heart. However, I do note that you feel that perhaps other adoptees (presumably online ones) don’t appreciate their bmothers.
To me it seems that a lot of the online adoptees are in reunion and that many have discovered that it can be hurtful to a mother to be thanked and shown gratitude for making a choice (placing their child) that they may rather have not had to make, or to be thanked and shown gratitude for not make a certain choice (i.e. termination)that may never have even crossed their mind. I think many of the online adoptees have given their mothers something even more important - understanding and reassurance.
Btw If I had ever had the chance to meet my bmother (who passed away young - I am in a great reunion with extended family), I would like to have said this:
"I know that you did the only thing you could do given your options and the times being as they were. I wish things could have been different for you, however,I can reassure you that I had a good life" (btw this is based on the facts I do know)
In regards to myself, am I glad that my bmother relinquished me? I have to be honest and say that I would rather my bmother had never had to be in a position to place me and I do like to think that she had regrets about not being able to raise me (you can think I am selfish for thinking that but that is just how I feel). Having said that, I have long accepted that she was in that position but I don't want other women to ever have to be in a position where they are are making a choice that they may have really want to being making.
My personal view about both my mothers is this:
I would like to think that my bmother would have loved me every bit as much as a child she might have raised (sadly, she never had another living child)
I would like to think that my amother to loved me every bit as much as a child she might have borne herself.
I would like to think they both considered me their own child - whether raising me or not.
Also, I have enough love for both parents to love them as human beings, not just as their titles.
Lu, you are very welcome and thank you for reading. I felt the need to share it that day and I am glad that you found meaning in it as well.
LeMira, I did not mean to make your heart ache, but rather let those that needed to hear his words hear them. I have listened to the song, and seen the video and I have to agree with you about it bringing on the tears.
However, I had never seen the interview where Mark opens up about his feelings towards his birth mother. I think it was his actions mixed with his words that captured me. Let's just say it was a wonderful thing to witness on a day that I needed it most.
cb, I thank you for coming to read and thinking about what I said. Your view is that of an adoptee, where as my view is from the birth side. I write to help other birth mothers know that there are others out here like them, and hope that they do not feel so alone. So allow me to clarify what I wanted to share.
"However, I do note that you feel that perhaps other adoptees (presumably online ones) don’t appreciate their bmothers." This thought did not cross my mind at all when I found this and decided to post it here on the blog. When I find something that touches me as a birth mother, I tend to share those things with the aspiration to maybe lift another heart that day. I empathize with those who have my view and only wish to help them along their journey, to support them in any way I can.
The words that Mark spoke in the interview are words that I think many birth mothers would like to hear. We spend a lifetime wondering if our children will ever understand or forgive us for letting them go. Sometimes, even if it has nothing to do with your situation, it is good for us to hear the words of adoptees who feel compassion for their birth parents/and or families.
I learn so much from adoptees, and I do like to read what it is that they have to say (regardless of how brutally honest or gut wrenching it may be sometimes, and in saying that I am not trying to say that is the norm, not at all) just as I learned from your remarks on this post. You see, I saw him saying mistake as in his birth mother did not make a mistake in letting him go, having nothing to do with termination. I felt he was conveying that she did not make a mistake in having him, then letting him go to adoption. But see, this is how I took it as a birth mother. I could never know how this statement would affect an adoptee hearing it, but you have been kind enough to share with me just that.
And in regards to your comments, I do not think you are selfish at all. I do not think any one's opinions or remarks about adoption make them selfish. Adoption is different for everyone regardless of what side of the triad you come from. Emotions, feelings, thoughts, how to handle the unknown ... we all cope and learn in a clash of what is best for each individual.
I think the words that you shared to your mother were elegant and your views of your families are amazing. It is most visible in this that you wrote... "I have enough love for both parents to love them as human beings, not just as their titles."
I sure do appreciate you coming to read and showing me another view of this interview. If I have offended you with my views in any way, I do apologize. That was not my goal. I just see this from a different point of view, that I hope you can understand.
Thanks for your reply. I will clarify a few of my statements:
In regards to this:
"You see, I saw him saying mistake as in his birth mother did not make a mistake in letting him go, having nothing to do with termination. I felt he was conveying that she did not make a mistake in having him, then letting him go to adoption."
I do understand what you are saying. However, I got the impression he was trying to say (to paraphrase):
"When I'm in heaven, I want to introduce my bmom to all these people whose birthparents listened to my song and decided to chose adoption rather than abortion because I want her to know that she also did not make a mistake by chosing adoption instead of abortion". I may be wrong. Perhaps you are right. Perhaps I am getting oversensitive about the very prevalent assumption that many people seem to have that our bmothers chose adoption as an alternative to abortion - they seem to think that our bmothers thought to themselves "hmm I don't want this kid, should I get rid of it via abortion or get rid of it by giving it to someone else". Btw those are NOT my thoughts, that is the general train of thought of many who feel that bmoms chose adoption as an alternative to abortion. Presumably you would find that thinking as insulting as I do.
I'll be honest and say that I think advising a woman with unplnned pregnancy to consider adoption vs abortion (i.e. mixing reproductive and parenting choices) as opposed to getting her to consider continuing her pregnancy vs not continuing her pregnancy (i.e discussing her reproductive choices) is something that is rather dangerous. If you want my personal position on counselling for unplanned pregnancy, it is as follows:
First of all, I think one should first counsel a women about continuing or not continuing a pregnancy. If she decides to continue her pregnancy, I then feel the next step should be to counsel her about her general situation in life so that she can get her life in as good a shape as is possible before making the important decision about her child's future. I do not think further "options counselling" should take place until she is in that stronger place - it is not fair on her or her child to do so until then. Anyway, that is my own view. This options counselling should be totally unbiased.
Btw the reason I said the following:
"However, I do note that you feel that perhaps other adoptees (presumably online ones) don’t appreciate their bmothers." is because you used the word SOMETIMES in capitals and I did think at first you were saying somethng along the lines of "hey other adoptees out there - see SOME adoptees are grateful", I am pleased to hear that that isn't what you meant.
Also I just wanted to say in regards to this:
"I think the words that you shared to your mother were elegant and your views of your families are amazing."
I never did get to share those views with her as she died before she turned 40 (I would still have been in high school). They are more what I would have said if I'd ever had the chance.
I would love to post a link to your blog on my website would that be ok.
We have two actually:
www.AGiftofLuv.com
and
www.AlphaAdopt.com
Thank you
Jaylene Welch
Alpha Adoption Centers
Info@alphaadopt.com
1-877-955-2122
Post a Comment