Been enjoying the Season, and taking some much needed time off from writing. I am still reading in the adoption world, but not commenting or writing my own musings.
You see, although I have had those years where I am utterly sad that I cannot squeeze my adopted children and tell them I love them on Christmas morning, this year is just not that way. I have done some amazing soul searching this past year and boy has that changed my course in life. Sure, I have been healing every year since I relinquished, but this year there is more peace that comes this Holiday Season. I have truly realized that no matter what others think or say to me about my adoptions, it really has nothing to do with them and I cannot take their criticisms to heart. I have learned that it is not what those others think about my life that matters, but rather how I see myself in my life that does. And no matter how nasty those commenter's are there really is nothing that they can do or say that will ever REALLY change the way my mind feels about my heart.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
I have learned that people who know me and love me accept that I love my life the way it is. Sure, I have pieces missing but that does not mean that I cannot enjoy what it is that I have in front of me. Thankfully, in my case, those missing pieces are giving me a chance and have done their best to accept me as well. I know how blessed I am and in no way do I take advantage of what the Good Lord has given me. But, I have to sing my own praises here and tell you that it has taken a lot of courage to live with my decisions and do with them what I can in order to help myself live, to help myself learn and help myself love life. I do not make excuses for who I am or what I have done. I simply go on in life and hope that in the end someone can say she gave it her all and had a GREAT time doing it!
So I will, and am!, enjoying this amazing season of love, laughter, giving and receiving. After all, if there is anytime to be in awe of the human spirit and all that it is capable of it is the Holiday Season. Somewhere, someone is thinking the same thing I am and they are smiling. Hopefully every birth mother and father out there will also smile this week. And I hope they know just how strong they really are!
From me to you, have a wonderful and safe Holiday and may you make your own memories that will last a lifetime!