Thursday, November 11, 2010

As Promised, This is Part II of My Journey

Yesterday I reposted my first introduction to blogging, the beginning of my adoption story. Now it is time to tell you the continuing story of my life as a birth mother.

The Journey That Denfined My Book, Part II

I had just turned 20, and placed my first child for adoption because I knew it was the best thing for her. My relationship with my boyfriend began around July '91. Bruce had been such a good friend for many years, we were just starting our relationship and it was really working. Early '92 I find out we are pregnant and am thrilled because I know that we are meant to be together. Then the doctor said "My dear there are are having twins" and my heart sank. Twins are much different than just one baby. He was 19, I was 21 and neither of us had a carreer, a home or apartment, or a savings account. We knew that adoption was the option that was best.

He understood that I knew what I was doing and he trusted me the whole way. I insisted on moving to California because there was NO WAY I was going to be badgered like I was in the first adoption. My cousins had just adopted a baby there and knew the connections that I needed to start the process. My man stayed in STL and worked so that he could save for his schooling and I lived in California while I was pregnant. I met with three different couples and chose a wonderful couple that had been trying to have a family of their own for several years. They had been married for a while at that point and I thought to is the reason that God is asking me do this for a second time, these people need me to fulfill their dreams of becoming parents. I spoke to my boyfriend about all the couples and we both decided, together. I again made it clear that I would need pictures and updates to which they have complied all of these years. I have not seen the twins since they were born but I know who they are becuase their parents tell me about them in letters.

I am one lucky woman to have had these wonderful parents take care of my heart all of these years. My man stood by me and several years later asked for my hand in marriage and we have been happy ever since. Our own sons know who their siblings are and they are perfectly fine with all of it. They are more than willing to tell people all about their brave parents and what we have done in our lives. It is great to see your own children singing YOUR praises!

Now that I am older, have healed and am a mother with my own children, I found the courage to write a book from my perspective as a birth mother explaining adoption to children. I really think that this book can change the way people think about adoption and birth mothers. It can help kids understand some of the logic that their mothers were thinking in making this monumental decision, it can help adult adoptees if they are still searching for answers, it can help adoptive parents understand what the woman who gave them their child might have went through, it can help pregnant girls out there now understand that even though it is a difficult decision and nothing about it will be can still continue life and find fulfillment like I have. I have many positive things to tell about adoption and can only hope that this book will allow me to do that.

I have my own family to love and who love me and the Man upstairs has rewarded me handsomely for my giving heart. On the last page of my book The Best For You, there is a sentence that says..."Adoption is God's love given twice" That is how I look at it...he gave me the strength, courage and love that it takes to turn around and is a family of your own.

Thank you for reading my story. I sure am proud of what I have done and am even prouder that I had such an amazing influence in my life like my mother who made me the person that I am.


Amanda said...

Oh I just love when I hear about a couple who placed children together and ended up married with their own children down the road!!! When I was pregnant I met a couple who had placed their first child, and then went on to have 2 more and adopted one...such a great story, and I really am going to get your book to send to my son, and I might buy two, one for me to keep and share with my children one day!!

A Life Being Lived said...

Kelsey you are just amazing! I say it time and time again, but when I was pregnant and unsure about how to provide for my child, facing a lot of circumstances that were not ideal, I dared to look into adoption and I do not think it was an accident that I found your blog JUST when I needed it most. Your honesty about your journey gives a LOT of us strength- to advocate, grow, and heal.

Linnea said...

It is so nice to hear from a birthmother who is not angry, bitter or saying they were coerced. People dont believe or like the relationship my son's birthmother and I have. They keep telling me he is my son and I shouldnt include her or that including her is going to make her be so angry and want to come get the baby when she is older and married. I wouldnt have my son without his first mother. I include her, love on her, talk to her, call her and send weekly pictures because she is family to me. Without her there would be no him.

Thank you for writing your story. Be blessed

Kelsey Stewart, Author said...

Thank you ladies for all of your kind words. Yes, it has been an amazing journey with Bruce by my side. Pretty incredible when you think about it! We knew all those years ago that we were meant to be together, and I'll be darned if we were absolutely right!

Amanda, I think my book would be right up your alley! Thank you for your wonderful words today...kinda needed them!

Life, I think you and I were sisters in a past life because each and every time you comment here I feel like a family member is chatting with me!

Linnea, I am glad to hear that you have such a great relationship with your son's mother. You have no idea how incredible you are, how much of a difference your attitude will make in HIS life, or how blessed you have made your birth mother feel just in accepting her into your life. God bless you!

God Bless all three of you amazing women!