Saturday, April 7, 2012

Inspiration, When You Least Expect It

How hard are the Holidays in the birth mother world? Which one? There are so many... Christmas is the big one. Followed closely by Thanksgiving because everyone is giving thanks and there you are feeling alone and unable to muster up a smile because all you can think of is your child. Any Holiday that is centered around kids is hard. For me, it used to be Easter.

I had fond memories of Easter as a child. Growing up Catholic there is no other Holiday like Easter. Sure, Christmas is Jesus' birthday, but Easter. That is the day he rose from the dead and made miracles happen! I used to always wonder why eggs were so big at Easter. It was later in life that I learned it is the egg that represents new life, to be reborn in a sense. It was not until I had my first child that I truly understood the meaning of eggs and life, something that had not really crossed my mind before. And once I had an egg that was fertilized then created life ... well the power of that is undeniable.

But back to Holidays. There will some that won't bother you at all. You get into the spirit and allow yourself to enjoy the celebratory moments. There will be some Holidays that are hurtful, make you want to lie in bed all day long, not answer the phone and just for good measure ... maybe throw in that ONE movie that will make you bawl like a baby until somehow you think you feel better. There will be the ones that are a mix of everything. Crying. Happiness. Wonder. Sadness. It will swirl and swirl like a bad thunderstorm that looms in the distance, threatening to rain down when you least need it to. 

But after every good storm, there is a clearing. There is a wonderful smell of freshness in the air and all seems to be clean. Washed away is the dirt and dead branches that once were a part of the big tree in life. Things seem fresh, alive, thriving. Of course not every Holiday will lead to this cleansing. But allow me to tell you that not all of these celebrations of life will be hard. There will come a day when something, or someone, gives you the motivation to change what the past has been: Sad. Alone. Empty. It might be a friend. It might be a lover. It might be a group of people who show you the path to moving through things in order to heal from them. You never know where that source of inspiration will come from, but it will come to you.

Someday it will help you see what it is that you need, that inspiration. So be sure to keep your heart open, your mind free and your soul aware of what life COULD be. Maybe. Someday.

Happy Spring. Happy Easter. Happy Day to you!


Amy said...

Happy Easter, Kelsey!