Monday, October 31, 2011

It's All About The Hair

For those of you who may have missed the last post, you will need to read it to understand a little better what I am about to write. You may read that here.

Now, as the years progressed that I had Olive for a hair stylist she had always told me just how much she TRULY loved what she did. She moved from the mall to a swankier salon and I followed her. A few years later she made the decision to open her own salon, and I followed her. When she did open her salon I noticed a change in her. As if she could not get more bubbly and fantastic, she had an even bouncier step and a ever present smile that just lit up the room. She was very happy in that she was meeting people, traveling, making a name of her own. Hair Stylist Galore!

She also married and had her own children. Beautiful little creatures who obviously have a bit of her in them, in that sauce is spread abundant through both of them. With a glow only a mother could have, she would tell me how much those little souls have enriched her life. Her life was flowing along just how she wanted it. A couple of visits she had told me that she was thinking more about her birth parents, that having her own children just made her a little curious as to where she came from, or better who she came from. She asked me many questions about where she should start with the information she had, which was not much.

Now back to that day, the day that I went to visit her and she said I would not believe what she found ...

Turns out, Olive contacted her birth mother, we will call her Stella, and she was thrilled to hear from her. Olive made arrangements to go and see her birth mother and took along a good friend for support. Their visit went great. Stella had all kinds of information about her and told Olive how happy she was that she found her. Stella asked a few questions about her life, and looked at pictures of her family. Then, Olive began to ask Stella questions about who her father was and that is when Olive's life was explained.

We will call him Hank. Hank was a very good man, but was caught in an awkward situation when Olive came to be. He helped Stella make arrangements for an adoption and he made good on his word that he would be involved and support her. Once the adoption was finalized, he and Stella parted ways and he married another woman and had 5 children with her. So this explained how the adoption happened. The very interesting thing about this man is that he was devoted to hair in some way, shape or form all of his life. Matter of fact, one might say it was his passion.

Hank studied with well known people when he attended the college he chose to learn the craft that he perfected. I say that he perfected it because not only did Hank opened his own line of popular salons in the area in which he lived, he also started his own college to teach his methods of styling. Hank was a hair master, and that is what he was known for. Not only did he share the same passion that Olive had, he also looked up to the same people that Olive looks up to ... and knew many of them quite well! (she was all giddy about that) This love of making people feel beautiful was passed along to Olive in a way he could have never foreseen, and she could not have imagined that she would have so much in common with the father she never knew.

Now, as if that were not interesting enough....remember that I mentioned he had other children? All of those children are professionals in their own right, but none one of them has an interest in salons or hair. Not one. This was the interesting thing to both Olive and myself, and we talked at length about the strong bond she now had with her father, and how ironic it was that none of his children he raised followed in his footsteps. She spoke of how amazed she was that not only was she able to find her mother and connect with her in a positive way, but to know that her birth father had the same passion that she had was a comfort. She was actually a little proud that she comewhat followed in his footsteps in opening her own successful salon. Olive said that she was just in awe that what she was raised in was so different from what her roots were, yet her roots followed her in life to define what she is.

Her story makes a strong argument that in adoption sometimes nature does, and will, have a large part in what a person is.


Monika said... awesome. I love that. Reading such things verifies for me that though my daughter will happily (for me) get some qualities from her parents, she might get some from me as well.

Independent Adoption Center said...

Happy Adoption Awareness Month! As a fellow adoption advocate we thought you would enjoy taking part in Open Portrait, a blog that is painting a portrait of open adoption through photos, videos, and quotes. We would love you to participate and help spread the word!

Anonymous said...

That is really awesome, and stories of that nature bring tears to my eyes. However, please tell me... what about the kids who are "taken" from birth families and not "given" (as in a gift)to an adoptive family. My son, who is now 22, has lived with me and his late dad (not his birth father)since he was 20 months old. He was one of 6 children born to 2 addicted people. He was born with HIV antibodies (HIV free thank God). His birth parents wouldn't take the help that was offered and chose to continue their use even after losing their children. All of the children were adopted out. My son has ADHD, ODD, Conduct Disorder, OCD and Bipolar disorder. He has also been fighting addiction since he was 16. We as a family have inherited this addiction and all of the other diagnoses from the birth family. Please help me deal with that as I read all of your tenderhearted stories. I love my children with all my heart! I can't imagine loving them more than I do (both adopted). Both boys have addiction issues among other things and the little one (14) struggles greatly with the fact that he was abandoned at birth with no information about who he is or where he came from. That is really difficult for a teenager who is trying to figure himself out. All teenagers have to figure out who they are, but imagine not knowing where you come from and ... there are just no words. My heart aches for him.