Saturday, September 10, 2011


Photo by Joel Altschuler via Flicker
It was a late morning for me. I had Tuesdays off at work and Bodde and I had slept in until around 9. That was late, HA! I heard the phone ring a few times and had ignored it so I could lay just a little longer next to my little buddy, watch his adorable little face totally still, listening to him breathe. I could not sleep anymore so I decided to get up and start some things. It was warm when I reached the kitchen, I knew it would be a nice day for us, the sun was shining the birds were singing and life was just motoring along.

I started some dishes left from around the house, started a load of laundry and pressed the message button on the phone. The automated voice told me of three messages and I thought..."Hmmm, wonder if everyone is okay. Three messages before 8 am..." as I turned on the television in the kitchen. I heard my husband's voice loudly saying..."hey, are you up? .... Answer the phone if you are .... Kelsey ..... Kelllllssssseeeeeyyyyyy ...." click. The sound was down so I paid no attention to the screen of the TV as I turned to look at the phone. The automated voice kicked in with the time of the call. 7:45 am. As the next message kicked on. I turned my head back to the counter and looked at the TV for the first time that day. I was confused and immediately walked to turn the sound on. It was 9:10 California time.

It looked as if the World Trade Center was on fire, high up on one of the towers a raging blaze of gold was pouring out of the side of it. I took note of the amazing blue sky that day in New York, I could not help but see it ... tarnished by the thick black smoke. I heard my husband's voice. "Hey, you have to get up! There are planes crashing into buildings. Something very bad is going on, the World Trade Center is gone ..." WHAT? I am watching it right here. The building is burning. Wait only one of the buildings is burning. What is he talking about? The sound came up and I could hear Tom Browkaw talking but I was still listening to the answering machine. Then I saw a plane come out of nowhere and slam into the other tower. HOLY SHIT! What in the hell is going on here! That didn't just happen, did it? My eyes filled with tears. Those poor people on the plane! Those people in that building! My eyes were deceiving me for sure, but Bruce said the buildings were gone! Okay, I have to call him. Then I see something horrific. I see a body falling out of a building. I was sick to my stomach.

Katie Couric was talking about how she could not believe that the buildings were gone and I was not understanding what my eyes were showing me compared to what my ears were hearing. I had the phone in my hand and the number dialed, but I had not hit call because I was so confused and I just wanted someone to tell me what was going on. I heard the word terrorist, I heard them talking about the Pentagon for some reason, I was watching this unbelievable scenario going on in New York and thought very briefly to myself about the War Of The Worlds broadcast years before that had so many people in a panic. Was this something like that? What is going on?????

I have no idea how long I was standing there, it seemed like forever. Then it happened. The top of the building began to fall and suddenly the whole thing just disappeared. I heard Tom say ... "and there it goes..." There was no noise. No one was talking. You could hear dead air. I was stunned and in a serious state of shock. Then I thought to myself...'I cannot bring another child into this world with this kind of hate.' I remember thinking that, it was very clear in my head. Bodde was only one, and this was the worst thing I had ever seen in my lifetime. I cried and cried. It was all surreal, yet so very crushing. I only know a few people who lived in NYC, I had never been there but my heart was breaking watching that building come down. I was just devastated, not sure what to do. I pushed the button on the phone. Bruce answered right away, then we said nothing. "Are you okay?" he asked after a minute, again it was really an eternity. "No...I'm not. This is horrible..." I said as I bawled.

I realized that life had changed. My outlook would be different forever because of what the world witnessed that day. It was all different. I could not stop crying. I got off the phone with Bruce after saying "I Love You" about four times and I just could not take my eyes off the television. The Pentagon had been hit by a plane and now reports of a forth plane that was out there unaccounted for and people are calling it in from the plane. (????) It was all changing right before my eyes. The whole world was changing. I knew that nothing, absolutely nothing would ever be the same after 9-11-2001.