Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Like Sunshine She Is!

Bella and The Bride
When last I left you, I was headed across the country for the wedding of my cousin Kerrie with the bonus that my daughter would be there as well. I departed California with a feeling of happiness that followed me through a plane change in Vegas and all the way to the Mid West. Once there, this jubilant attitude continued as I saw my husband's family and spent time with them, thank you for a lovely dinner! Friday was spent helping the mother of the Bride as much as possible, in all fashions of pre-wedding madness. From driving cars to tying knots on favor boxes to helping Kerrie pick up her dress to listening to anxieties regarding the wedding ... what EVER it took to help them out, I did it. Didn't mind and I mention it because it is those small moments that stick with you.

Couldn't sleep that evening at the hotel. Time difference. Kids running up and down the hall. Anxious for the wedding. Selena followed by Mr. 3000 on TV. Knowing I was going to see Bella the next day. Trying to win at Solitaire the old way (with a deck of cards bought at the airport, which I also played the entire way to Missouri including the airports.) I finally drifted off and caught three and a half hours before getting up on THE DAY! YAY! Took tons of pictures of the Bride getting ready, and as I said I would when I saw Kerrie put the dress on I started to cry. Not bawling or anything, but enough that I had to turn away as to not make her cry. Just. So. Beautiful. When we were off to the Chapel Bella called. She was just pulling up to the hotel, perfect timing!

Onto the bus everyone went, and soon she was just there. What a joy to say the least! Smiling, she looked so pretty and with a relaxed manner we chatted all the way to the Chapel. Once there we greeted other family and waited for the ceremony. And what a beautiful ceremony it was. The best part for me? Kerrie decided to surprise me and she walked down the isle to Here Comes The Sun, the same song that I used when I got married. (different versions, but none the less it meant a whole lot to me!)

Now, after the nuptials was when I got to really spend some time with my daughter, bits and pieces throughout the afternoon and then at the same table for the reception. Catching up with how she's doing, what her summer has been like, how her family was getting on all the while laughing and listening to stories from my cousins who were making each other laugh hysterically at the table. Took some pictures here and there, did I mention how pretty Bella is? Her eyes just amaze me, such a beautiful color of green! I can still remember the day that her mom told me that she had green eyes, Sophie had made an effort to emphasize how they had changed. Spending that time with her, just makes me smile thinking about it.

Dancing. We love to dance! My whole family will get down, all ... night ... long! Bella loves to dance as well, so this is what we spent most of our time doing after dinner. I so enjoy this aspect about her. She is a little like me in that she likes to have fun, any chance she gets. SO there we were: having a great time, laughing and dancing when I noticed a twinge in my head. Actually, it was more like the pound of a hammer on my brain tissue. No. Not now. Kept dancing, kept laughing. The pound came again. I tried to keep going but within thirty minutes I was nauseated. The single pound became a symphony of pounding and I knew it was coming but I just did not want to acknowledge it. Much to my dismay it was inevitable. I was facing a migraine. I told Bella that I was going outside because my head hurt, but that I would be back in just a bit. After I threw up, I knew I had to get out of there otherwise I would be on the floor within the hour. So, without drama I asked my cousin to take me back to the hotel and please explain to Bella and anyone else who inquired that I just needed to go.

Once there, I stood under hot water for a few minutes and then laid down after taking some medicine. What a bummer. I never know when one is coming, and yes the migraines that I suffer from can come on suddenly and with force. I felt so bad leaving like that, but then it hurt so much that I could not really concentrate on what I left behind as I drifted off to sleep. I awoke to a phone ringing, it was my cousin telling me that the wedding was over and Bella wanted to come up. The pounding was gone and that was a good thing because we stayed up talking with the mother of the Bride until she was ready to retire. Then we had a late night visit from the Bride who was a delight to watch and listen to as she recounted the previous 10 minutes of her life .. pretty funny! All in all, it was a great day that only temporarily was interrupted by the migraine and that I am thankful for!

It still just lifts my spirits that she knows the people in my family, that her own family was so willing to give her the freedom to know her heritage. To know who she comes from, along with that extended family that every adopted child has. I have said it numerous times before and I will reiterate it here, open adoptions can work. They really can work. No it is not easy, and of course it is ever evolving and MY story could change at any moment. But all of this would not even be fathomable without the communication, mutual respect and patience that my adoption experience has been. All 20+ years of it.

4 comments:

A Life Being Lived said...

Sounds like a great wedding!!! So glad you were able to be there and Bella too :) It's stories like this that remind me that there is so much joy to be had out of adoption and it's so important for the children to be connected to all sides of their family.

Bumber's Bumblings said...

Beautiful!! so glad Bella was able to be part of such a special day! I love open adoption!

Amalaa said...

aww so sweet! I just had my daughter as my flower girl and her mother as one of my bridesmaid in my wedding 2 months ago! It was the best mother's day present I could have ever imagined!

Mary H. said...

I enjoyed your story. You have such a positive attitude. Thanks for sharing it. :)