Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Happy Thought, Dysfunctional Comment

I wrote of my excitement of going to a wedding. I explained the family dynamics that I grew up with. Not the normal family unit, but still a family unit non the less. I was happy, I was going to see all the important and amazing women in my life that I have been so blessed to call family.

Arriving home, I sat at my computer reading emails and moderating comments when I come across this Anonymous statement:
This sounds like a totally dysfunctional "family" unit.
I wanted to dismiss it, but I couldn't. I admit, it got to me. I have only saved one other comment for a long time and believe me I am still wrapping my head around it. But this one I would like to address because I have had over a week to digest what the wedding weekend entailed.

Yes, this family which I come from is dysfunctional .. but doesn't everyone have dysfunction in their family? To some degree, there is usually some type of behavior that could constitute as dysfunctional. I know I had dysfunction all the way around: single family, weight issues, abandonment, depression, the list goes on and on. Then, there was a lot of pain in my family. Many deaths that left those of us behind in a bit of a fit. So, in that respect, I could see your side of what you think is dysfunctional.

But the good part is this: everyone one of us is a good person. Each of the women in my life, my family, are strong, wise beyond their years, compassionate, humorous, honest and endearing. From one generation to the next, we have all learned from each other and also taught each other about life. We all survived hardships and heartaches yet we have come out on top because we DO function from day to day with the knowledge that has been passed to us. Everyone in my family has happiness in their lives, true happiness.

So your idea of dysfunction is my sunny little part of the world that may not be conventional, but it has worked so far in the journey that I am on. Thank you for the comment, as callous as it was, because it made me truly see just how far we have all come. And what we did with what we were given, well it is quite spectacular!

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Von said...

I defy anyone to show me a 'normal' family.All families have 'dysfunction' in one place or another, clearly your commentor was not taught compassion or an understanding of how the world works and how families really are, so sad to be in such a place of unreality.

gorsmom3 said...

Really?! I don't know ANYONE who doesn't have some dysfunction in their family. And yup, they're family just the same :)

LisaAnne said...

I often say that we are all dysfunctional, some people just work harder to disguise it.

And some of us just embrace it.


Monika said...

Amen, sistah. We're all dysfunctional. What's 'normal,' anyway? Who decides that? I think we all find our own version of normalcy and live there. And if you're happier, healthier, and wiser because of your own personal dysfunction, then that's just fabulous. Dysfunction rocks! :-)

jodilee0123 said...

Sometimes we just have to have a good chuckle out of what other people say. Supporting you all the way!!!