I came across the show Who Do You Think You Are? last night and it happened to be the episode that you traced your family tree all the way to Ireland. I have seen bits and pieces of that show before, so I was familiar with the premise and what was likely to happen.
But as I watched your episode, I could not help but think about the children you adopted. I have long read about how you do not see the importance of your children knowing where or who they came from, because after all you are their mother ... the one who raised them, loved them and cared for them. I know that you are not one to sing the praises of birth parents. Why, I cannot quite figure that out. But this is not the reason why I write this letter to you.
I heard you say things last night like (and I cannot quote directly, just a gist of what you were saying) ... this is much more moving than I thought it would be ... I feel like I am a detective of my family history ... I am so happy that I did this, to know where my family comes from. With those words that you said and the way that you felt when you were finding the missing pieces I had a twinge of hope that you could see just how important it is for someone to know where they are from. To know what their heritage is.
I would like to ask that you keep all those emotions and thougths close to you and perhaps let those feelings open up your heart and allow your children the same courtesy that all of those genealogists, towns folk, and records gave you: A sense of who your family was. Where you really came from and who you are related to. I am sure that your children have thought over and over again ... Where am I really from? What is my family tree like? Who is in my blood line and where are they now? These are questions that many of us have that are not adopted, so I can only imagine what an adopted child must wonder about their living blood relatives.
As you well found out in your journey on the show, genetics and family history is so important to one's life. I only hope that you open your mind and allow your children the same respect that you found while searching YOUR family tree. It is something that can be achieved without them changing their thoughts and feelings about you, their mother. Curiosity about ones roots is not a bad thing, and often can answer many more questions than we could ever imagine.
Thank you for your time and I am glad that you found your roots,
Kelsey Stewart
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3 comments:
hmmm...i think you are so very wrong about rosie.
try watching this - especially around the 1:20 mark on: http://www.accesshollywood.com/rosie-odonnell-finds-a-tragic-and-heroic-story-from-her-past-on-who-do-you-think-you-are_video_1295866
Thank you so very much anon for posting this. I have never heard Rosie speak that way about her children's birth parents or the fact that she would be letting them research their history. This, to me, is great news!
Perhaps the journey that she had in Ireland and Jersey City changed the way she feels about the women who gave birth to her children. I am thrilled to hear her say that she understands their need to know and I only hope that she also knows that even if they do find their roots, it cannot change the way her children feel about her ... their mother.
perhaps Rosie has her adoptive childrens historys..and will give them that info when she feels ready. As an adoptee, I could care less about my bio families family tree, I know that i am scottish and english and coincidentaly so are my mom and dad. My family I care about is the one I was raised with my whole life.But my parents always left the opportunity there for me to get info or search if I wanted to... I never had the need. As an adoptive mom of 2 children that i fostered for years before being able to adopt them...I have all their history in fact I know their mothers and where they live etc...I have their birth records and every thing else... its all awful stuff. I will give it to my boys which incidentaly have special needs because of things their moms did while they were pregnant and after they were born. We are hoping we are instilling in our children some self esteem and pride so they will be able to cope with hearing the awful things their moms did to them and how they didnt come from a real great place etc. Right now they are to young to know or understand.. but we will tell them in time, just as maybe Rosie will too.
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