Thursday, December 30, 2010

Convoy of Crap

Get ready because I have some things to say. On Tuesday night I watched MTV looking for a special that was to be on called No Easy Decision, a documentary of a woman who is considering abortion. Let me start by saying that I had no idea that it was also the night that MTV would be airing the finale for season two of 16 and Pregnant, Life After Labor. Catchy title, isn't it? Well, I got sucked in from time to time because my listing said that the special was to be airing at 11:30 pm, but I was sure that was a mistake and I did not want to miss it. So let me start with what would soon irritate the living shit out of me.

I think you all know by now that I kind of hate that MTV program and the more I watch it the more I detest all that MTV is trying to do with that show. Every single girl was crying. Every. Single. One. There were like a gillion stories, again I was just flipping in from time to time, it was kind of hard to keep track of who was who so I cannot name any of the girls, sorry. But I swear every one of them looked so sad, so lost, so irritated and not at all happy with where they are in life. The stories of the boyfriends who left. The stories of how many of them have lost all their friends. The stories of how wedges have been placed between these girls and loved ones. The sorrow that was on the faces of not only those telling the stories, but those who were listening in the audience. Ugh. It was heartbreaking. It always is heartbreaking for me to watch. I just want to go there and hug them and then slap them and tell them to wake up! This is life as a parent, or at least a parent in your position .... young, (some) unwed, (some) wed far too young, confused, financially strapped .... this is what life is like when you take on the responsibilities of a child, another life to raise. This is what you chose to do, and now you have to get out there and make the best of what you have!

Then there is the facilitator of the whole circus, Dr. Drew. I used to listen to his radio show when I would drive home late at night from my retail job a decade ago and he does have an extensive background in counseling with expertise at putting people at ease. Some of the questions that would come into Love Line were bizarre, sometimes a little disturbing. Dr. Drew did a great job of explaining to the listeners in a tactful way what his opinion was on the matter. Now, I am not sure what it is that HE is doing there on THAT show. He whisked through the stories lickity split, stopping every so often to dwell on how terrible things were for a particular girl. His tone with some of these kids is a little condescending and it seems to me that MTV could find a better person than him to facilitate this finale. I mean, has he ever been pregnant? Has he ever been faced with a child that needs to be raised while being at the delicate age of 16 himself? This is what gets me about all the so called finales of this show, why is Dr. Drew the one asking the questions? Could they not find a more qualified person to touch base with these teens who are being manipulated by the media attention that they are receiving at such an intimate and vulnerable time in their lives? Ugh.

So, finally the special that I had waited for was coming on ... I was a little apprehensive to watch because I was not sure what it was that I was waiting for, or what MTV would give me. There again was Dr. Drew, he obviously knows much more about women's bodies, women's thoughts and women's issues than we all thought could be possible because now he is going to tackle the tough subject of abortion. Little did I know that this documentary was going to follow one of the moms from 16 and Pregnant. It was surprising to say the least. I mean, of all the women out there that are considering abortion, why are we watching this about a girl who has already revealed so much about her life in the previous season of 16 AP? Anyway, they made it seem that she was not too sure what she wanted to do about the new pregnancy. She is with her baby's father and if I am not mistaken they are married now. They discussed their options but I could not for the life of me understand what it was that he was saying. He mumbles ... A LOT ... and it was hard to make out what his feelings were.

She goes to her friend's house because she is scared to tell her mother right away and she wants to confide in someone. Here is where my blood boiled. She had the baby with her, and she begins to discuss with her friend the possibilities of having an abortion. With. The. Baby. Right. There. I could not believe it! Maybe it is just me, but IF that were me I would be leaving the baby with someone else to watch as I contemplate abortion. So she is talking to her friend about all of this and the friend suggests that she find a clinic and get some answers to questions that arise in their conversation. So they go to the computer and search for abortion clinics in the area. Where is the baby? Sitting on her mother's lap. This girl picks up the phone and calls the clinic right there which was great because she was seeking information and knowledge is always good. But, as she is asking all of these questions about the abortion, her little baby is right there in her lap.

I am sorry, but this was by far the LOWEST thing that I have seen MTV do. Really? You need to sensationalize this so much that you are filming this young lady inquiring about abortion while her baby is in her lap ... she is crying ... we can hear the woman at the clinic on the phone as she speaks of dispelling and cramping and all that goes with the procedure. WTF? Shame on you producers of this show, you should all be charged with torture, criminal intent to harm, psychological damage, and child endangerment. Because I am pretty sure that ALL OF THESE MOMS are still kids until they turn 18? If she was 16 and pregnant, then I would have to think that she was somewhere in the 17 range. Right? Worse than Ugh, at this point I have that bile taste in my mouth.

SO from there it got worse. She made an appointment and had an abortion. I really felt for her, believe me I did! I was in her position a long time ago, I got pregnant twice in a short period of time and was faced with two life changing decisions. I hold no ill regard against her, because after all it is her body, her life and her burden to bare. But. Later in the show, her husband, or so I think, said something about it not being a child, but a bunch of cells. (I think, again he was mumbling and I could not understand what exactly was said.) That got me. Then I thought, well perhaps this is his way of dealing with the loss. Maybe thinking of it that way, a bunch of cells and not a baby, made it easier to digest. Easier to live with. But she did not like what he said, and she blew up. I wanted to turn it off, but also wanted to see how Dr. Drew was going to analyze this mess.

I should have turned it off. Two more women joined for the last segment and it was not the conversation that I thought it would be. Maybe I was just too disgusted with ALL the programing that I watched that night. Maybe I was just tired of seeing babies who looked to be like more of an ornament than a child, meaning these girls have no idea what in the hell they are doing and this baby is still a very foreign thing to them. Maybe I think these gilrs are all so confused by the cameras and attention that they are getting, not to mention the money, that they really do not know what to think about anything anymore. Isn't raising a family supposed to be fun? Isn't raising a family supposed to be one of the most amazing commitments of life? Isn't raising a family supposed to be the great accomplishments of your life? Well, I did not see much joy in your shows MTV. In fact, I hardly saw any joy in those shows. All I know is that there were not many smiles in all of that programming, not many at all.

Thank you MTV for leading the way in positive influences for our teens!

PS...the real kicker to this whole night of being livid about the state of our youth in this country and their choices, there were three commercials for pole dancing exercise DVD's. How's THAT for product placement? Again, WTF MTV?????????


Linnea said...

Oh wow. I wasnt sure what you were going to say but man did you hit it. I had a few problems well more than a few, with that show too. I hated that the girl and boy said God took them on that journey or something to the effect that it was ok by God to kill their baby. I hated that she said it was pregnancy tissue and not to call it a baby but when he did call it tissue she was all of a sudden a grieving parent, nope! You dont get to play victim here! I HATE that the one girl at the end said she was a parent and that others needed to realize that she made a very hard parenting decision- nope! Parents dont decide to kill their babies (well except the nut jobs that go to prison for it)! I hate how they said they were at peace with their decisions yet cried about it over n over. And being a former foster kid and now an adoptive mother I HATE how the girl said early on and the others said later that they loved their baby so much they couldnt give them away. You love your child too much to give her away so you killed her/him? ??????? Isnt that an abusers mentality, if i cant have you no one can?

That show made me sick, it always makes me sick and I dont know why I put myself through it!

I will say I love your blog and read everyday.
Be Blessed

birthmothertalks said...

Wow! I just wrote about MTV. It's so horrible what you said went on.

A Life Being Lived said...

I completely agree....I didn't watch the episode (fearing that I might throw myself out a window and forever rant and rave about the decline of values and MTV's need to prey on these girls for sensationalized tv) but had a feeling it would go down like that. Yikes.

Maggie S said...

I keep trying to write a comment and it keeps being longer than your post. I am speechless.

Kelsey Stewart, Author said...

Maggie, I was doing some work on the blog so maybe that was what was messing you up. I am sorry, I would have loved to have read your comment!

Amanda said...

I watched bits and pieces of the reunion special, and I was pretty pissed off too. And I'm sorry, but I do not agree with how Ashley handled the adoption or treated her Aunt and Uncle...(I read her blog for a while, and stopped because I just couldn't stomach her rude comments and those who were rude to her, I did not watch her show, but I saw her on the reunion) I wrote about Teen Mom and 16AP before, and I won't be watching again, I still can't believe that MTV didn't intervene when Amber hit Gary, and that it took the show to air for the police to get involved, they're all about the ratings, and have very little regard for the girls, the babies, and their feelings.

etropic said...

As I read through this post I am struck by the scene you described where the young lady has her baby on her lap while searching for an abortion provider...

You know what that was? Honestly??? It was an endorsement for teen parenthood. A subliminal one, but one none the less. I don't know why I feel that way but I felt the same way when I watched that as well. The irony was not lost on me. My husband actually before I did and was ENRAGED. He got up and screamed, "Why the hell do you watch this crap? All it does is glorify teen pregnancy!" I tend to agree. Although by listening to Dr. Drew talk, he and MTV are making an impact on the teen pregnancy rate(per his proclamation he made before one of the reunion shows I watched.) I can't help but roll my eyes at that one. The only "impact" that I have seen or read was that 16AP had influenced names of babies born during this time. Maci's son's name, Bently being one of the top picks

{double rolling of the eyes here}

I don't know why I continue to watch this show. Season after season I see the same theme: naive you girls who are in "love", broken hearted girls left to bear the weight of raising a child on their own, "buys" who walk out for whatever reason. I guess I keep waiting to see one, just one of these relationships work. I mean that with no snark either. I am TRULY rooting for these girls but it seems things always end up the same. It literally kills me. I've got to stop watching it truly I do. I can't though I don't know why...